Fractured fairytail
by Dee9
Summary: Princess Catherine is saved by Prince Vincent,but when the Princess is missing it's Lady Diana who has to find her


Fractured fairytail
    
    Once Upon a time when the world was
    young and filled with magic there
    lived a beautiful princess named
    Catherine, whom a handsome prince
    loved named Vincent. But theirs
    was a unique love. You see, Princess
    Catherine lived upon the earth in a
    castle made of gold and jewels.
    Prince Vincent's kingdom existed
    below the ground, in a place filled
    with dancing light from hundreds of
    candles. It was a kingdom made of
    love and dreams and it existed in
    the hearts of men. It was in this
    kingdom below her world that they met.
    Princess Catherine was loved and
    adored--beloved of all those who
    knew her. But she was prone to folly.
    One day she was out among the
    peasants when a cruel knight from
    the black castle accosted her.
    "Noblewoman, bestow upon me your
    jewels and I will safeguard you from
    these filthy peasants," the knight told her.
    Princess Catherine merely replied haughtily,
    "I need no protection from such as
    these, Sir Knight...but only from yourself.
    I shall take my leave of you."
    With her nose in the air, she turned to leave.
    "Not so fast, my fair lady. I
    WILL have your jewels." The knight's
    voice was hard and cruel as he
    grabbed the richly jeweled necklace
    from her slim, graceful neck. Princess
    Catherine grabbed at the knight's hand
    to no avail: her necklace was in his hands.
    Quickly, he slapped out with his armored
    hand, striking the lovely princess, who
    gracefully crumpled to the ground, her
    face bleeding from several cuts upon
    her face.
    Princess Catherine gracefully raised
    herself up upon her slender, pure, snowy
    white arm. ""Will none of you come to
    your beautiful,sweet and angelic princess'
    aid and destroy this dark-hearted black
    knight?" She pleaded, looking around at
    the few half- starved peasants, who merely
    turned and ran. She swooned.
    The dark knight laughed wickedly and told
    her, "Lady, I take leave of you now.
    And be grateful that I don't take YOU
    in the bargain." He turned and rode away,
    leaving the beautiful princess to mourn
    her fate and practice her swooning.
    As the despicable knight left, the
    peasants returned to see their beloved
    princess on the ground. "Oh Lord, the king
    will kill us all over this," said a
    toothless old hag.
    "You'd think a princess would go out
    with her guards."stated another
    disheveled-looking fellow.
    A tall, skinny young man said worshipfully,
    "She's our beautiful, lovely, angelic
    princess. If I'd come back earlier,
    I would have fought the dark knight."
    "Yeah," the hag mocked. "Just like most
    men...led around by your hormones
    instead of your sense. A strong wind
    would come along and blow you right over."
    "Enough of this!" said another,
    tougher-looking man. "There's only one
    thing we can do. Get rid of her body-
    -after we take her rings, of course."
    "Oh, you REALLY want us dead, Stupid,"
    said the disheveled-looking fellow. "I
    know! Let's take her to Prince Vincent!
    He'll cure her and send her back to
    the castle! He's a sucker for these
    helpless sorts...and HIS hormones will
    go nuts over this one!"
    "All right," the bigger man said. "But
    can we still have her rings?"
    "No," said the old hag, "but we better
    hurry, drop Miss Beautiful off and high
    tail it out of here before her father,
    the King and his bunch of knights come
    looking for her and murder us all in the
    process. You!" she yelled, pointing to
    the young man. "Grab an arm."
    It took a handful of stick-like peasants
    to drag the princess Catherine to the
    entrance of Prince Vincent's domain.
    Dropping the now dirty, but still
    beautiful Princess, the hag said,
    "Gods, she weighed a ton."
    "I told you we should have taken her
    rings," the tough-looking peasant yelled back.
    "Oh shut-up," the old hag said,
    holding her back. "That designer
    dress laced in pure white pearls
    didn't help matters any."
    "Pure white pearls?" All the peasants
    looked at the beautiful princess'
    torn gown and then back along the
    path they'd dragged her. They sprinted
    up the path.
    "They're mine!" shouted the hag, shoving
    the others aside as she sprinted past
    the princess.
    They disappeared into the tall, dark forest.
    A few hours passed, and when the beautiful
    Princess woke she looked around her.
    She didn't see any one coming to her
    rescue. She became furious, and yelled
    out into the night, "I'm a PRINCESS, you
    peons! I should be rescued by a handsome
    white knight, not dragged like a sack of
    potatoes and dumped!" She looked down at
    her beautiful designer dress and screamed.
    ..then fainted again.
    It was then that a large, skinny mouse
    came out of the cave. But this mouse,
    whose NAME was Mouse, had shocking
    white hair and big blue eyes. He
    had come long ago to Prince Vincent's
    domain when he was just a young boy.
    The wicked black knight had caught
    him stealing the ladies chastity belts.
    The knight cursed him by changing him
    into a mouse, and having a group of cats
    chase him out of the castle into the dark
    and lonely night. But Prince Vincent found
    him instead of the cats and dragged him
    kicking and screaming down to his domain.
    Mouse stopped short and stared down at
    the lovely Princess. He smelled around
    her, but found no food on her, and
    after lifting her tattered skirt,
    decided that it was obvious HER chastity
    belt had been stolen long ago.
    Mouse decided to go to Prince Vincent
    and tell him to remove the Princess
    so he could go out and find something
    to chew on.
    When Prince Vincent came to investigate,
    it took him several minutes to heft
    the princess onto his shoulders
    (she HAD been overeating and not exercising
    of late). But, with his strong muscles and
    catlike grace, he lifted the beautiful
    Princess up in his powerful arms and
    cradled her like she was a tender bird.
    He looked down into her beautiful,
    sweet,anglic face--now marred by
    several cuts--and fell deeply in love,
    for Prince Vincent was an innocent.
    ..and in truth, his hormones WERE raging.
    Tenderly he brought her into his chambers
    and gently laid her down on his bed.
    The cuts that marred her beautiful
    face only made him love her more--for
    Prince Vincent was not as other men.
    Though beautiful, he was considered a
    monster by all who saw him because his
    face was cat-like instead of human.
    He had never had a woman love him.
    ..nor had he ever dared to love one himself.
    Vincent leaned over and whispered
    to the lovely Princess, "You are
    more beautiful than any woman I
    have ever seen. I love you."
    He ran his huge hand tenderly
    over her face and she stirred
    gracefully (for of course, she
    was a princess and she did everything with grace).
    Vincent was afraid that the cuts
    would become infected, so to keep
    them clean, he bandaged her entire
    face...even covering her eyes, because
    then she couldn't see him and be
    frightened. But since he was a good,
    kind Prince... even if his thinking
    WAS inhibited by his hormones--he
    doubled checked just to make sure
    that she had enough breathing space.
    It took Catherine three days to come
    out of the shock at seeing her
    designer dress torn. Upon awakening,
    everything was dark. She could feel
    the bandages around her face. "Oh God,
    my face. My beautiful, sweet, angelic
    face!" she cried in abject horror.
    Vincent came to her side and gently
    held her. His voice was soft and comforting.
    "Lo, beautiful Princess-- for that you must
    surely be. I am Prince Vincent. I am Prince
    of this realm. I promise you I will take
    care of you and protect you until you feel
    better and even after that."
    Princess Catherine laid back down in his
    bed. "Well, it's about time!" she
    thought to herself.
    Weeks passed, and as they passed, Princess
    Catherine was waited on hand and foot by
    Vincent. He read to her so she wouldn't be
    bored, had his friend, Mary bath her, and
    he tenderly spoon-fed her himself. Finally,
    it was time for the bandages to come off.
    Catherine requested the most beautiful handmirror
    available to gaze upon her beautiful face--the
    face that no man old ,crippled, lame, poor or
    rich could resist. .She wondered what her
    Prince would look like.
    As the bandages came off, Princess Catherine
    saw Prince Vincent and screamed. Poor Prince
    Vincent sadly walked away, leaving Princess
    Catherine alone. Sitting bolt upright
    in bed, Princess Catherine paused for a
    moment and looked around. "Okay," she
    thought. "so he's not the prince of my
    dreams. But he's cuddly and fuzzy and
    strong...and those teeth surely could come
    in handy. Of course, I can't take him
    out or show him off, but he DOES tell me
    repeatedly how beautiful I am, and look
    at me like I'm made of gold."
    It was four more weeks until the sweet
    beautiful Princess Catherine could return
    to her own kingdom and leave Prince
    Vincent's domain. After all, he had
    to get her dress repaired, find her a
    hairdresser and a proper makeup man..
    .and of course, pledge himself to
    protect her from any harm from man or beast.
    As Prince Vincent led her back
    to her castle, he swore his undying
    love and kissed her hand and ran
    behind a bush as Catherine walked
    slowly to her castle. A guard
    yelled. The castle came to life
    with wild screams of "the Princess
    has returned. Riders set out on horseback
    to come for her. The knight who led the
    pack was Sir Elliot. .He reached down
    and swung Princess Catherine onto his
    horse in back of him and set out for the castle.
    Meanwhile Prince Vincent was despondent.
    His Father, good King Jacob tried to lighten
    the mood, but Vincent would only run off
    to his room and moan. He could think
    only of the beautiful Princess Catherine,
    who took his heart. Late at night he
    could feel his love for her and wondered
    if she felt it too.
    Princess Catherine, however, was none too
    pleased with Sir Elliot. "Elliot, darling,"
    she said spitefully, "I know you love me,
    so why didn't you follow me and fight to
    the death for me?"
    "Come on, my beautiful one. I was busy
    with business. You should have told
    someone that you were going out alone.
    I thought you had some sense." He held
    up his hands in mock fear. "Oh no, dear!
    Don't pout! I should never have
    implied that you were asking for trouble."
    "Elliot, you're lucky that my loyal
    subjects didn't hear you, or you'd be
    flogged to death." She primped. "It wouldn't
    do to have the peons think I'm not perfect.
    ..I am, after all, the beautiful, angelic
    Princess Catherine and not at all replaceable.
    Not even death can replace me. I'll
    come back to haunt everyone." She glared.
    "Get it, Elliot?
    ***
    Days passed and Sir Elliot was back
    doing business, so Princess Catherine,
    who wasn't the center of attention
    bemoaned her fate loudly. Sir Elliot
    looked up from his papers. "Can you
    hold it down, Cathy?"
    "CATHY?," she stamped her foot. "Last
    night, I was your beautiful,sweet,
    wonderful, expensively dressed and
    accessorized Princess Catherine.
    You don't worship me properly. I'm
    going to have Joe Maxwell take me
    to the dance."
    Elliot merely waved her away, and
    although Princess Catherine was insulted,
    secretly she was wondering if she'd
    left her gold-inlayed, jewel-clasped,
    designer chastity belt (with the jade
    escape fastener) over at Joey's apartment.
    She swept haughtily upstairs, moaning that
    no one appreciated her. So, her first
    thought was to make herself feel better.
    Running into the East wing, Princess
    Catherine consoled herself with her rooms
    filled with clothes, jewelry , coats
    and shoes. "God,I feel better already,"
    she said with a smile. But as she
    examined the clothes, she cringed. "Last year's clothes."
    She moaned and was about to cry when she
    caught sight of her reflection in the
    huge mirror. She primped, distracted
    from her misery. "God I'm so beautiful."
    After gazing at herself for a quite some
    time, she noticed a scuff mark on her dainty
    slippers. Letting rip with a loud scream,
    she shuddered and kicked the shoes off.
    Wrapping a soft fur around her, her
    thoughts turned to Vincent...and
    she wondered how his fur would
    feel...and if he'd make a good
    coat. "No," she told herself.
    "I'd much rather he moan and carry
    on over me. Besides," she added
    as an afterthought, "I've never made
    it with a cat...at least not that I
    know of." As she danced down the
    stairs, she thought, =Thank God I
    forgot where I put my chastity belt.=
    "He'll absolutely worship me."
    As she passed Elliot, busy over his papes,
    she told him, "I'm going out to bestow
    blessings on the peons."
    Elliot glanced up "Just wait a monent,
    Cath, and I'll come with you."
    And he went back to his papers.
    Princess Catherine cursed him under
    her breath, and left the castle
    unprotected. She didn't get far when a
    band of Diamond traders appeared.
    Princess Catherine, who knew them
    by sight, paused in her mission
    the peons. The fat one had sold her
    a flawed diamond. "How dare you come
    back to my kingdom after you sold me a
    flawed diamond! ME, the most beautiful,
    sweet, angelic Princess you will ever meet."
    She was most disgruntled.
    "But Princess," the trader reasoned,
    "you picked the diamond yourself."
    At that, Princess Catherine turned
    red with rage--which wasn't her
    color--and she screamed and screamed,
    and the merchant, frightened that
    the king would chop off his head,
    tried to quiet her by putting his
    hand over her mouth. His hands were
    very strong and the princess began
    turning Smurf-blue...which wasn't
    her color, either.
    Prince Vincent was still moaning in
    his room when he felt the Princess'
    fear. His lovely, sweet, angelic
    Princess was in trouble. With one
    great roar he dashed outside, down
    the hills and over the vales, only to
    see his beloved Princess Catherine
    kicking and struggling in the grasp
    of a grungy merchant. Still roaring,
    he promptly eviscerated the troublesome
    man and rescued his Beloved.
    Princess Catherine merely stood by and
    watched as her knight in fuzzy armor
    laid his sacrifice at her feet.
    The merchant's death didn't concern her.
    She was far more upset about the fact that
    while struggling, her hair was mussed..
    .and she grimaced a bit as she stepped
    away from the blood: it wouldn't do
    to get blood on her dress or shoes..
    .blood is SO hard to get out.
    Bestowing a chaste kiss upon the
    only part of her prince that she could
    find unbloodied (his nose), she told him,
    "That'll teach them to sell me flawed
    diamonds!" She had Prince Vincent
    pick up the diamonds the merchant was
    carrying. After all, diamonds looked
    better on her anyway.
    ***
    Prince Vincent, the innocent, almost
    passed out in rapture over the peck
    on the nose that lovely Princess
    Catherine bestowed upon him. =Gods,=
    he thought. =This is the best piece
    of lips I've ever had.= Dreamily,
    he went about gathering the diamonds
    scattered on the ground.
    "No! Not that one, Prince Vincent..
    .over there," shrieked the demure
    Princess Catherine. =Gads, men are
    stupid...no matter WHAT they look
    like,= she thought. Using her little
    bitty, sugar sweet, baby girl voice,
    she said, "That one, there, sweetie"
    as she pointed frantically at a large
    stone glittering on the ground.
    When he picked up the wrong one,
    she stomped her dainty little size
    10 foot (shoved into a size 9 1/2
    because the shoes looked better
    that way).
    Prince Vincent picked only the most
    brilliant and huge diamonds he could
    find to give his beloved. As he held
    out the diamonds, Princess Catherine
    gasped in dismay, "God,at least CLEAN them.
    Look! There's a drop of blood on
    the third one." Batting her eyes at
    him, she squeezed out a tear..."I gave
    you everything I had...the pleasure
    of being near me...a kiss from my virginal,
    very full-bodied lips. And you try
    to get me dirty!"
    Prince Vincent fell to his strong,
    powerful kneesand hung his head in
    shame. "I'm so sorry, my angel."
    "Hum..Hum.." Princess Catherine
    said staring down at him. I'll
    forgive you this time."
    "My Love, may I escort you back to
    my kingdom.?" asked a Asked a love-sick
    Vincent who, being the innocent that
    he was, thought that when Princess
    Catherine said virginal she meant more
    then pecking noses.
    Princess Catherine looked down her long nose,
    drew her rather bushy, but still
    delicate eyebrows into one brow.
    This made Prince Vincent feel awful.
    Heaven knew he never wanted to see
    her unhappy. For some reason when
    she was unhappy a large caterpillar
    crawled up onto her forehead. =It
    must be a Princess thing,= Vincent
    thought to himself .
    Princess Catherine stared at Prince
    Vincent, who was covered in yucky blood.
    It wouldn't look good for him to walk
    her to her castle. Someone might see
    him, and after all, she had a reputation
    to maintain. "I think," she told him
    haughtily, "that I shall return to my
    castle, and in the meantime, you can
    yourself up and dress better and I'll
    see if I can come tonight. Remember to
    wash off those beautiful diamonds of
    mine." Princess Catherine turned to
    walk gracefully back to her castle...then
    she thought better of it. =He DID slay
    the diamond merchant for me...and he
    worships the ground I walk on.= She
    turned, and in a grand display, she
    blew him a kiss from her full lips.
    Vincent jumped into the air and
    caught really nothing, but since
    he thought he got something good,
    he wanted to relive it .
    He promptly slapped her kiss on his nose,
    and with a starry-eyed, toothy grin
    Vincent pranced back to his kingdom.
    Upon reaching his Kingdom he ran into
    Mouse the mouse. So happy was Prince
    Vincent that he scooped Mouse up
    in his powerful arms . He swung
    him around until they were both
    dizzy, then put him down so he
    could go tell his good King Father
    about his date with Princess Catherine
    and the virginal kiss she granted him.
    Good King Jacob was quite shocked
    to see his son covered in blood and
    smiling such a goofy smile.
    "'What happened to you son?"
    Prince Vincent threw his arms wide.
    "Father! I met Princess Catherine,
    and she offered me her virginal lips."
    Good King Jacob collapsed on his throne
    , stared at the sheer volume of blood
    covering his son and said, "God,she
    must have been a virgin for a heck
    of a long time."
    ***
    "Yes,Father and I love her."declared
    Prince Vincent.
    Good King Jacob stared at him and
    tried to remain calm. Until a huge
    black bat flew into his throneroom.
    He could hear the incoming army of
    bats flying down into his chamber.
    "Son, I think you better talk to me
    after you clean up, or we'll have every
    dang bat with in 40 miles high on virginal
    lovin..HAAaa!" yelled King Jacob as
    he swatted at bats flying around
    his head and bats diving after Vincent.
    "But Father I want to tell you of my
    love..." Vincent stopped to snag a
    bat in midair.
    "Don't you DARE eat that! Vincent, for
    Heaven's sake, get washed up and take
    those bats with you." King Jacob dodged
    a huge bat coming right for him. "MOUSE!
    New law! No real old virginal loving
    inside cave. Take it outside..And Mouse,
    I want SIGNS! "
    "Yes Sir!" screamed Mouse as he dodged low
    flying bats and dove out the throneroom's
    entrance, followed by Prince Vincent, who
    was being circled by bats.
    Good King Jacob straightened himself up
    and sat calmly back onto his throne.
    Looking around his throne room he was
    shocked! Batpoop was on everything.
    "MOUSE! MOUSE, IF YOU HEAR ME, BRING A BROOM AND MOP!."
    Mouse came running back with a
    large pooper scooper and started cleaning.
    "Good King, Mouse doing experiment..
    .can keep the batpoop?
    "What a day,." moaned the King. "Yes,
    yes. Go for it, but get it out of HERE."
    Meanwhile, Servant Mary came wandering
    in and gazed lovingly at the Good King.
    "What happened, my lord?" she asked in a
    calm, meek voice.
    "You won't BELIEVE the day I had.
    You know that Princess Catherine?" he asked her.
    "Of course. The one Vincent dragged home to nurse?"
    Good King Jacob only nodded his head
    and fell quiet. At that time a
    wet-furred Prince Vincent came trotting
    into his father's throne room and
    announced happily, "Dad, I love the
    beautiful, wonderful, sweet, angelic
    Princess Catherine and she's coming
    over here tonight." His voice dripped
    daydream honey.
    "She can still walk?" King Jacob
    shook his head in amazement. Clearing
    his throat, he added, "Well, son...of
    course she's welcome. But...did you
    happen to use protection?"
    "Protection from what, dear Good King
    Father?" Vincent asked in total innocence.
    "You know...the bats and the rodents," whispered
    the good king.
    All three pairs of eyes turned to the king
    in amazement as they tried to figure out
    what he was talking about. After ten
    minutes of silent puzzlement Mouse spoke
    up. "OH! The birds and the bees!"
    He clapped his hands together in glee.
    Oh!" blushed Mary.
    Vincent still didn't get it.
    "We're in a cave, Mouse," Father said
    in disgust. "Do you see any birds or
    bees here?"
    "Well," Mouse added..."Did it outside."
    "Father," Prince Vincent said, "I have to
    get ready for Princess Catherine's visit."
    He could only think of looking his best
    for his Lady Love.
    Father only shook his head. "Mary, you DID
    explain the bats and the rodents to him didn't you?"
    Mary looked shocked. "I thought YOU were!
    I mean, no...I never did it. And I guess
    you didn't either. Oh dear." Then looking
    defensive, she added, "Well, you ARE his father,
    you know."
    King Father glared. "You're still upset with
    that artist friend of mine."
    "Oh the one who joined a traveling circus so
    she could draw them and change their wagon
    wheels? No." She lifted her nose to stare
    down at him in contempt.
    Prince Vincent shrugged his shoulders and left.
    Mouse just frowned and picked up batpoop.
    "Mary, lets not fight. I'm so upset."
    "I know but he's getting older, and yes,
    Princess Catherine is a royal pain. But
    he loves her so we have to give it a try."
    She patted the good king's back.
    "There, there."
    "Mary are YOU a virgin?" Good King
    Jacob looked down at his loyal
    faithful servant Mary. He always
    thought that at one time far off
    in the future they'd be together.
    Mary only blushed and looked down,
    took a step back and giggled.
    King Jacob motioned to Mouse, who
    scampered over, leaving his batpoop
    behind. King Jacob leaned over and
    whisperedin Mouse's big ear.
    "Mouse, make a note for me, so
    I remember. Mary's about three times
    older than Princess Catherine."
    Mouse started scribbling the
    message down on the King's desk,
    and King Jacob whapped him upside
    the head. "Don't write THAT, you fool.
    Just write "bring swimming wear ,bathing
    cap and wait until warm weather."
    ***
    Vincent spent the rest of that evening
    cleaning everything in sight and taking
    every precious stone and bauble out
    of the Kingdom's treasury to display
    for the lovely Princess. Everyone
    pitched in. Just as Vincent was
    finishing up, he coughed up a big hairball.
    =Father was right,= he thought, =I shouldn't
    have eaten that bat.= Not only was his stomach
    growling, but he got fur catch in his back
    teeth..yuck..
    The beautiful, sweet, angelic Princess
    Catherine wasn't in a happy mood either.
    No one passed her on the dirt paths
    leading to her castle to admire her,
    or drop down to kiss her ruby, diamond,
    or emerald rings...and certainly not
    to kiss her dainty size 10 shoved into
    a 9 1/2 feet. She was feeling so
    dejected as she walked back to the
    castle. There was no fanfare, nor
    even one shout of "Princess Catherine!"
    That is...until she was just outside
    the drawbridge .
    "Who goes there?" a guard challenged from the tower.
    Princess Catherine was fit to be tied.
    "It's ME, your Princess!"
    "Nope," the guard said smugly, "she's
    visiting the east wing, so that means
    she won't be out til next Monday."
    .
    "Can't you see that I'm beautiful, you idiot?" she yelled back.
    "No, but I can hear that mouth of yours.
    I may be semi-blind but I don't have an hearing problem."
    "You won't have ANY problem, when your head falls off."
    "Oh Lorry, lorry you ARE the Princess."
    The guard turned around and screamed out
    "The Beautiful Princess Catherine is here.
    Open the drawbridge!"
    The castle came alive, with people screaming
    and yelling as the drawbridge descended.
    Beautiful, sweet, angelic Princess
    Catherine came storming into the castle.
    Sir Elliot was there to greet her. "My lady,"
    he said with a bow.
    'Elliot, I want that man beheaded!"
    She pointed a shaking finger at the
    quivering guard. He face was as red
    as a beet as she cried, "He couldn't
    tell it was me, the most beautiful
    Princess or girl in the world."
    She wailed and blubbered as Sir
    Elliot held her..
    "Okay, okay. Calm down. Why don't you
    go inside, and I'll run up to the tower
    and slay him myself." Sir Elliot sniffed
    the air around him and then Princess
    Catherine's hair and wrinkled his nose.
    Princess Catherine was so distraught that
    she went straight to her room and to bed.
    Sir Elliot sent a guard to go fetch the
    wayward guardsman upon his tower.
    The guardsman slowly approached Sir
    Elliot and hung down his head. Sir
    Elliot smiled."You're doing a good
    job .Dad. Don't worry about the Princess
    just hide out till after she leaves for
    her annual trip to Paris for the new summer
    fashions...she'll never know the difference."
    "I'm sorry son."
    Part 7
    It took Princess Catherine four hours
    to rouse from her swoon just sit up
    in her bed. The whole thing was just
    SO traumatic, but of course she didn't
    cry, because that would ruin her
    makeup. She idly played with her rings.
    ..which of course shifted her mind
    back to the diamonds waiting for her
    down in Prince Vincent's kingdom.
    =Well,= she thought. =Since no
    one bothered to check on me but but
    Dad,Elliot and Max , I'm going out to
    get my diamonds. 0 I worked for them,
    and there'll make me happy again.
    I wonder if they'll even know I'm
    missing?= she thought sourly.
    It took her another ten minutes to
    decide which of her many cloaks
    would look best with the setting sun.
    Meanwhile Prince Vincent was sitting
    hunched over, head spinning ,
    sick and miserable.
    Mary ran her hand over his mane and
    whispered lovingly, "Vincent, you ate
    a bat, didn't you?"
    "No." he moaned as he looked up at
    her and turned blue. "But the beast did."
    "Oh,my little darling. Maybe we should
    get a message to your little friend
    and ask her to come tomorrow."
    "Oh, no! I'll be better, I promise you."
    Prince Vincent managed to add a small
    smile and sat up straight. But as soon
    as Mary left, he collapsed and laid his
    head on the table.
    It took a little while for the sweet,
    angelic Princess to walk down to
    Vincent's domain By the time she
    managed to arrive, the sun was being
    swallowed up by the earth darkness was
    falling across the land.
    The tunnels rang out their welcome.
    Citizens still half asleep waiting
    for the blessed event scrambled around
    to grab flowers and flower petals to throw
    as the Princess Catherine--the beloved of
    Prince Vincent entered. At each step she
    crushed the flowers that graced her path.
    Mouse watched with a frown, for he
    had to clean up the mess, and he
    cursed with each step she took.
    Princess Catherine was thrilled.
    =FINALLY the recognition she deserved!=
    She waved and smiled her Princess
    smile all the way up to Prince
    Vincent's outer chamber. Flowers,
    food and gems were laid out
    everywhere for her. Vincent sat behind the
    table and as she entered he stood to bow..
    .and almost fell over. But she ignored the
    clumsiness because beautiful, clean,
    sparkling diamonds littered the table in
    front of him.
    "Vincent! Where are the servants?"
    She asked...for surely she'd need
    help carrying all this loot.
    "My beloved," he responded. "I asked
    them to leave us alone. For I have
    something to ask you." He sputtered
    and turned a brilliant pink, but he
    managed to force the words out. The
    chamber started to swim before his eyes.
    But he forced himself to remain conscious
    for his beloved.
    Beautiful Princess Catherine's eyes
    lit up as she gazed lovingly at the
    sparkling diamonds . They're beautiful!
    Almost as beautiful as me," she whispered,
    barely paying attention to him at all.
    "My beauitiful,charming, wonderful sweet,
    angelic Princess. I have told the King my
    father of our great enduring love."
    He paused, trying to focus on her..
    .she seemed to have two heads...or four
    eyes...he wasn't sure which.
    "Um Hum," she murmured, her eyes
    filled with questions and her attention
    divided between him and the diamonds..
    Vincent grasped the edge of the
    table to keep from sliding under it.
    He reminded himself NEVER to eat bats again.
    "Will you marry me, my beloved.?
    Princess Catherine eyed the diamonds.
    The only way over to them was through Vincent.
    She sighed. =Oh well,= she thought.
    "Vincent, It wouldn't work out. I know
    that I bring joy , beauty and happiness
    to everyone's boring lives just by allowing
    them the gift of my presence. Would you
    deny my peons that? And think of all the
    royal balls I have to attend so I can show
    off my new clothes and make everyone happy!
    Vincent, I can't leave my father's kingdom!
    That would be too cruel ."
    Vincent couldn't help but hang his head.
    "You're right. Forgive me my love,
    my beloved. Your life is up there in
    the sunlight, and our love must be shared
    in sacred stolen moments." Sadness beyond
    belief filled the chamber...at least for him.
    Princess Catherine just smiled and stated
    sweetly, "That's right, my love. I knew
    you'd understand.". She went to Vincent,
    who really couldn't get up, and patted
    his mane . The feel of his fur coat sent
    chills up and down her spine. "Oh God!"
    she whimpered as she continued stroking
    his fur. Fondling the soft fur reminded
    her of how she would throw her minks down
    on the floor and roll in them. She quivered.
    "Oh my God!" Princess Catherine cried out
    as her eyes rolled in back of her head.
    She stroked harder and harder.
    "Oh God...YES...YES..."Princess Catherine
    yelled out, her face flushed with excitement.
    ..as her legs gave out and she sank to the floor,
    utterly exhausted.
    Prince Vincent was almost unconscious.
    ..but not with delight. He was so sick
    he thought he was going to throw up.
    "My beloved .then you WILL marry me?"
    he said hopefully.
    "No,but I'll be back. God, look at you!
    You can barely see straight! I know it
    was as good for you as it was for me."
    With that, she kissed his sweaty brow.
    ***
    Mouse hopped, skipped and ran into the
    throne room looking everywhere for his
    good king. King Jacob came stumbling
    in. He looked a fright, with torn clothes,
    his crown sitting cocked on his head and
    a sign clenched tightly in his hands.
    He looked shell shocked.
    Mary met Mouse as he came in and she
    was leaving...she stared back at
    the good king. "I'm sorry, Jacob.
    We'll just have to do it another time."
    She walked slowly out.
    Mouse shrugged and said, "My good king,
    Mouse sealed hole that bats came into
    tunnels." The good king didn't seem
    to hear, and merely fell to his knees
    and began to pray. Hesitating, Mouse
    looked down at the king for a moment,
    then asked, "Are you okay my lord?"
    The king peered up through one closed eye.
    He nodded. "I'm thanking God, Mouse,
    that something can get so old it rusts shut."
    Carefully closing his eyes he continued
    with his prayers.
    Mouse was perplexed, "Mouse not understand."
    "God, Mouse," the good king said. "It
    all happened so fast! I was on the
    ground begging for mercy...I thought
    I was a goner."
    Mouse just nodded his head and backed away.
    ..only to have Mary grab him. "Mouse,"
    she whispered, hissing a little.
    "Can you get into ANY chastity belt?"
    By this time Prince Vincent was waking up.
    He felt wonderful, for he'd slept off
    the effects of his bad bat snack and
    there, to his amazement, was the lovely
    Princess Catherine asleep on his chest.
    Her hair was mussed and from her
    precious, pouty lips a string of drool
    trailed. =Isn't that cute?= Vincent
    thought to himself. He laid there for
    several minutes watching his beauty
    sleep, then he woke his beauty up.
    "I love you Catherine...more then life."
    Princess Catherine only smiled as he
    helped her up to her feet. "Is it morning?"
    Princess Catherine asked a little nervously.
    "Oh,God...if it is, I'll be late to get ready
    for tomorrow's royal dance. I still have
    to pick out my jewels...but oh...your fur!" .
    Mouse gently knocked on the side of the
    entrance to Vincent's outer chamber.
    "Yes, Mouse?" Vincent called out.
    "Are you decent?" Mouse asked.
    Prince Vincent looked down and smiled
    at his Catherine. "Yes, we're decent.
    What do you want?" Vincent's voice
    was filled with love.
    "King says he'll be at least an hour late
    before he does his welcoming to
    Beautiful Princess Catherine." Mouse
    bowed slightly to the Princess as he
    took his leave.
    "Vincent! A welcoming for me to your
    kingdom! How nice." Princess Catherine said.
    "God, look at me! Do you have a mirror?"
    Mouse couldn't wait to leave this lovely
    dovey stuff..yuck. Everyone was going
    insane. =And they talk about Mouse and
    chastity belts!= Mouse returned to the
    throne room and found the Good King
    settled downed and practicing his speech.
    Like he really needed to. Everyone
    had heard it at least a thousand times.
    The trick was staying awake and keeping the king happy.
    But Mouse had an idea....
    ***
    Good King Jacob was going to make his
    welcoming to the kingdom speech again.
    By this time, the king's subjects knew
    it by rote, and most of them fell into
    a deep coma just at the thought of it.
    As his subjects entered the great hall,
    Mouse greeted them, whispered in their
    ears and gave out a small bag for a
    copper apiece. Good servant Mary
    even bought a bag upon hearing Mouse's
    pitch. Soon, the Good King Jacob
    entered with Beautiful , sweet, anglic
    Princess Catherine--who was extemely
    flushed-- and Prince Vincent's--whose
    fur was matted at odd angles.
    "Good citizens of our Kingdom," Mouse cried
    out as he ran up on stage. "Introducing our
    Good King Jacob."
    Their were a few cheers coming from his
    subjects as their Good King Jacob came
    forward with a smile and started his
    speech. "Ahem. We are here to welcome
    the beautiful,sweet, anglic Princess
    Catherine to our kingdom."
    From behind the King , Prince Vincent
    and Princess Catherine, Mouse produced
    a sign that said, "No old virginal loving
    in the cave take it outside, by order of the
    king." Then, realizing his mistake, Mouse
    quickly turned the sign around. "Cheer,
    Applause" it said..
    The Good citizens of the Kingdom cheered.
    The Good King smiled and waited
    for Mouse to put the sign down
    so they would stop on cue. Then
    the good king delivered his speech.
    "Now, this kingdom started a good
    many years ago, but before that
    I was born, and at the tender age
    of five I walked ten miles to the
    watering shed were I hid picture
    books and back again--not like
    the youths of today.......etc, etc.
    ad nauseum." The king was so engrossed
    in his speech that he didn't see all of
    the inhabitants sniffing a small bag.
    But when his speeches ended, there wasn't
    a dry-eyed subject to be seen...including Mary.
    Princess Catherine was the next speaker.
    "You peons are lucky to have me come.
    I will bring my dazzling light, beautifully
    done hair, sweet angelic face to you all.
    But since I am also a Princess to my own peons,
    and they would have no beauty and light if
    I were gone, I will only visit you from time
    to time to brighten your hum-drum lives."
    Princess Catherine gave a little wave, and
    walked back over to Prince Vincent.
    Mouse held up the applause sign and
    then produced a sign saying, "Dismissed."
    The citizens went wild with cheers and
    clapping, and Princess Catherine--who
    thought the applause was for her blew
    them little kisses. The citizens left.
    Good King Jacob was thrilled that
    his speech had been so well received.
    He decided that all his practice must
    have reaped great rewards, and figured
    he'd give it again to Mary and Mouse just
    to keep it fresh in his mind. Never mind
    the little mishap between him and Mary earlier.
    =It must have been the tone of authority
    he thought smugly and started all over again.
    Both Mary and Mouse smiled lamely
    and sniffed the small bags they held until
    the king ended the speech and left.
    Mary was about to pass out, her eyes bulged
    out and tears formed in them, but she grabbed
    hold of Mouse. "That's the best invention yet,
    Mouse! The 'How to stay awake during the kings
    speeches bag."
    Mouse smiled and said, "I told you that
    it would come in handy." =I'll have to
    be sure to gather more batpoop before the
    king's next speech,= Mouse thought wisely.
    Beauiful, sweet, a matted Prince Vincent
    escorted out angelic Princess Catherine
    of the tunnels. "I love you Catherine." He told her.
    ***
    And I love you,My furry little fur coat,"
    Princess Catherine told him. "But I'm
    afraid that I have to leave you now .
    A princess' work for her kingdom is never finished."
    Prince Vincent tenderly and reverently
    took Princess Catherine's hand and escorted
    her away from his chamber. Prince Vincent
    was so engrossed in his Beautiful Princess
    that he didn't hear his Father starting to repeat
    his welcoming speech to Mary and Mouse.
    The good citizens watched the happy couple.
    Some just tried to keep from laughing.
    Others didn't care and chuckled anyway.
    The younger, teenage generation just
    pointed and gave Vincent a high five. But
    neither of them noticed...they were in their
    own little world as they exited the tunnels.
    "I'll walk you home, my Princess, for it's very
    late and very dangerous." Vincent told her with
    starry-eyed reverence.
    "It's about time people thought about ME,"
    Princess Catherine told him. "Kind Prince,
    please do walk me to my father's castle,
    and I'll allow you to tell me how wonderfully
    beautiful I am."
    "Oh, thank you. Princess . But where to begin....."
    Prince Vincent and Princess Catherine
    walked hand in hand to her father's castle
    with Prince Vincent telling her how beautiful
    she was. They only stopped when they were
    a couple of miles from the castle. The drawbridge
    was down, as wagons and richly-dressed
    nobles arrived in preparation for the royal party.
    Princess Catherine placed her hand on Vincent's
    and his huge hand covered it. "Prince, we
    must part here. No! Before you speak,
    I must tell you...I can't see you for a while."
    At Prince Vincent's mournful look, she added,
    "I know your heart will be broken, so I want
    you to write me every day telling me how
    much you love me and how you would be happy
    to die and kill for me." Princess Catherine
    batted her eyes and slid her hand away from
    his. She blew him a kiss and he caught it
    and placed it on his heart.
    As Princess Catherine ran down the hill and joined
    the caravan, mixing with the crowd till she disappeared
    inside her castle, Prince Vincent wasn't thinking
    of anything but getting back to his kingdom
    and writing page after page of his love--pouring
    out his heart on murdered tree pulp paper.
    He daydreamed his way back to his kingdom,
    and upon reaching the entrance, he sat down
    and ordered Mouse to get him the best tree pulp
    paper and a pen. Mouse scurried away, and
    he returned, Prince Vincent wrote what was in his
    heart, and then fell into a deep sleep.
    The morning sun shining in his face woke him.
    His first sight was Mouse's friend raccoon,
    who held his lovely words to Princess Catherine
    in his paws. The prince crawled toward the
    raccoon, who backed away, hissing. "Come on,
    Arthur. Give it back to me." Arthur stuck
    out his tongue and ran away to sit and wave
    the paper at him. Of course, Prince Vincent
    gave chase, but he never managed to get
    close enough to grab the paper. With a
    flick of his tail, the raccoon disappeared
    into a thicket.
    ***
    Five months had passed since our beloved
    Prince Vincent had last seen HIS beloved
    Beautiful Princess Catherine--but each
    day he wrote her long love sonnets.
    The Good King Jacob was quite worried
    over his love-sick son, who never seemed
    to leave his bedroom chamber, and it
    was starting to get pretty ripe in there.
    The Good King sent Mouse to bring his
    servant Mary to throneroom. "Mary,"
    greeted King Jacob....Mouse turned to
    leave but King Jacob barked, "Mouse!
    Where are you going? Stay put! That's an order."
    He sure as hell didn't want to be left
    ALONE with a horny Mary. In truth,
    he was scared to death of her. When
    he saw that Mouse was staying, he turned
    to Mary.
    "Mary, I'm worried about Prince Vincent.
    The only time he leaves his room Is to
    stare at the stars, yell at Mouse's raccoon,
    or get us to make more paper.
    Shouldn't he be over with this yet?
    I KNEW that girl was trouble."
    "Well," Mary mused..."he loves her.
    I've been going out every week with
    a bag of sonnets for her and giving
    them to her servant. All those sonnets,
    and all he got was a book and a used
    hankerchief. (sp?) But they seem to
    be enough for him. I'm not
    sure this IS just a phase. Since this
    really is his first crush, he's gone
    completely over the deep end. But
    time will tell."
    "Well," King Jacob growled, "I'll give
    him a week, then I'm ordering him out
    of his room. And if he doesn't come out,
    I'm having Mouse take all his paper.
    I'm determined to end this lovesickness
    once and for all!"
    =Yeah, sure= Mouse grumbled under
    his breath. =You're not the one he'll gut.=
    Back in his chamber, Prince Vincent
    was bent over his desk, furiously
    writing of his love. The fur on his
    fingers was stained with ink, and clenched
    in his left hand was a dirty hankerchief
    with an initial C embroidered neatly on it.
    ***
    Just before the big day came to welcome
    home Beautiful Princess Catherine's father,
    Beautiful Princess Catherine stayed in
    her room reading Prince Vincent's love sonnets.
    =,Oh how he worships the ground I stroll on=
    she thought with a smile. =I have him hooked
    , and hooked bigtime!= Sir Elliot was busy
    putting together the final arrangements for
    her father's homecoming, and everyone else
    was busy. =Just like Dad to make HIMSELF
    the center of attention,= she thought spitefully
    as she pouted. She decided she should
    really write Prince Vincent back and keep
    him spellbound in her enchantment.
    Princess Catherine reached beside her
    on the little pure golden table and grabbed
    a beautiful quill and some paper.
    Dearest One,
    Your heart betrays its overwhelming
    love for only me. And I miss you every time
    I stroke fur. As you should know, my Father is
    coming home, and he's getting all the attention.
    I am so upset that you're not here making
    a big fuss over me, that I thought of crying.
    All these peasants, including Sir Elliot,
    are only thinking of my father. You DO know
    that I am going to France for a couple of months?
    I shall have a life-sized painting made for
    both you and Sir Elliot and a smaller one
    made for Lord Maxwell. I know, I know..
    .I am extremely generous, but you're worth it..
    Love,
    Beautiful , sweet, charming, Princess Catherine
    Beautiful Princess Catherine left
    the note (and everything else) on
    the small golden table, knowing her
    servant would take care of it while
    she slept. She'd been so tired lately,
    and she slept like a log--it was the
    first good sleep she'd had in a long
    time, and it was was due to Sir Elliot,
    who scared away the person responsible
    for altering her dresses. Princess
    Catherine smiled. She'd always been so
    fortunate, being able to depend on the
    men in her life to overcome her problems.
    Beautiful Princess Catherine slept
    the whole day through, missing her
    father's homecoming--which didn't
    really matter, for he was stuck dealing
    with the local Princes. Only Lord
    Maxwell came to the ball to celebrate
    her beauty, and he was disappointed.
    In the meantime, her servant Plain Jane
    (Princess Catherine called her that)
    had taken Vincent's letter and given
    it to Mary, who dropped by with stacks
    of love letters.
    Prince Vincent was nervously awaiting
    Mary's return--hoping, praying for a
    letter or a small token from his beloved.
    Mary had just set foot in Prince Vincent's
    Kingdom when Prince Vincent ran over to her.
    Mary handed Prince Vincent a small letter,
    which he clutched to his heart, and grabbing
    Mary, he and gave her a big hug.
    Then, releasing Mary, he scrambled back to
    his room with his treasure, where he read
    her words over and over again. Ah, such pleasure and pain.
    Pleasure from her sweet words and knowing
    that she remembered him and thought of him,
    and the pain of knowing that she'd be gone
    for months. Prince Vincent roared out his pain.
    He roared until Good King Jacob ran
    into his son's room with his ears covered.
    "Vincent, shut-up! You're deafening me!"
    he screamed over his son's caterwauling.
    Prince Vincent grew silent with his
    features distorted in pain.
    Good King Jacob sat next to his son, and
    putting his arm around Vincent,
    he softly told him, "Vincent, you have to be reasonable!
    I know it's your first piece of...um.
    ..lips...but get a GRIP here. I've been
    through almost the same thing. I was
    very much in love with MY first, but she
    left me, and you know I found another
    that I loved better."
    "I can only love her," Vincent explained. "She told me so."
    Furious now, King Jacob whacked his son
    over the head with his cane and yelled,
    "Vincent that's IT! Now, I'm the King.
    Get out of this room, go outside and get
    some of that stink off of you! And you
    are coming to dinner and you WILL be happy.
    That's a Royal Order!"
    "But father." Vincent pleaded
    "NO! Now listen, I have my own problems.
    OUTSIDE NOW!" King Jacob ordered.
    Vincent bowed his head and left.
    Then King Jacob looked around and
    noticed he was alone. If Mary caught
    him alone.... "MOUSE!" he screamed.
    ***
    The morning was bright and beautiful, just
    as Princess Catherine would have ordered
    it to be (if she could have). Beautiful
    Princess Catherine felt wonderful when she
    stretched in her bed and opened her eyes.
    Today was the big day. She could hear
    the sound of fussing, wagon wheels turning
    onto the grounds and the sounds of horses.
    Throwing her bedding off and onto the floor,
    Princess Catherine yelled for Plain Jane
    to get her dressed for the big event.
    After dressing, Princess Catherine
    tried gliding down the stairs, but
    gave up with gliding because they
    groaned too much...so she did her best
    not to bob as she walked. She was
    greeted by Lord Maxwell and Sir Elliot.
    Throwing her arms around Lord Maxwell's
    neck she asked, "Oh, Maxie, did you bring
    me anything?"
    "Of course, how could I NOT bring
    the most enchanting creature on
    the face of this Earth a present?"
    Lord Maxwell took a shining green
    emerald as big as his hand out of
    his cloak and presented it to her.
    Princess Catherine snatched it out
    of his hand and eyeballed it. "It's
    beautiful,Maxie!" Tilting her head
    up she offered him her lips, which he
    gladly kissed. Sir Elliot just stood
    there, watching with amusement.
    'How's Daddy?" Princess Catherine
    asked as she held the large emerald
    up to the light .
    "He's stuck with those barbarians. But,
    he didn't want his little Princess to
    miss her trip to France, so he sent me-
    -his royal advisor--to make sure you got
    there in time ."
    Slowly the little group meandered
    outside lines of wagons, which were
    lined up as far as one could see.
    Princess Catherine's clothes and
    jewels were being loaded. "Since
    you slept most of this day away and
    yesterday, I propose that we leave
    immediately." Lord Maxwell held up his
    hand letting the Beautiful Princess
    rest her hand on top of his. Sir Elliot
    in the back ground stuck out his
    tongue and waved over his head .
    Lord Maxwell led the Beautiful
    Princess over to the royal carriage
    and started to help her up. "UMPH!"
    he exclaimed. "You've gained alittle
    weight, my dear." Lord Maxwell said with
    admiration. "It's very becoming on you."
    '
    The beautiful princess just sniffed.
    "It's just these dresses are fluffy.
    isn't that right, Elliot?"
    Elliot bowed. "Absolutely," he said
    with a wide grin.
    .
    After Lord Maxwell helped Princess Catherine
    up and got her situated, he smiled nastily at Sir Elliot.
    Sir Elliot smiled back and quipped,
    "Always liked those fat girls, didn't
    you, Maxie?" He mocked Catherine's voice.
    "Had I the time, Sir Elliot, I would challenge you ."
    Sir Elliot shrugged. "Big deal.
    My archers would strike you down
    before I even took the field of honor."
    Elliot smiled, which caused Lord Maxwell's
    veins on his forehead to pop up.
    Lord Maxwell tossed Sir Elliot an angry
    glance as he went around to the other
    side of the carriage and seated himself
    beside the Princess.
    Catherine leaned out the window " Forward!" she yelled.
    The coaches and wagons came to life and began moving.
    Prince Vincent waited up on the hillside,
    watching. Finally he spotted her carriage
    with Its flag rippling in the soft breeze
    as it slowly disappeared from sight. Prince
    Vincent roared. And roared. And roared.
    Back at the castle, Sir Elliot heard the
    pitiful roars and yelled at his guardsmen,
    "Will someone find that animal and put it out
    of its misery? It's giving me a headache."
    ***
    As the months slowly dragged by, a deep
    depression seem to settle over Prince
    Vincent's Kingdom. Prince Vincent himself
    snapped at everyone who bothered him when
    he was writing, which seemed to be all
    he was doing. The trees around the
    entrance to the tunnel kingdom seemed
    to be disappearing daily (used for paper
    pulp, most likely).
    Good King Jacob, with the ever-present
    Mouse barely managed to keep Mary at bay.
    There were some close calls for a while.
    But at the Kings castle, under
    the guidance of Sir Elliot,
    every day was a party as people
    tried to make use of the time without
    having to cater to Princess Catherine.
    They partied, wined and dined and formed
    new friendships. When Sir Elliot occasionally
    remembered Princess Catherine, he'd throw
    simply begin planning another party,
    and it always worked. He forgot all about her.
    But parties DO cost, and soon Sir Elliot
    found himself having to dig rather deeply
    into his pockets...so he formed an alliance
    with the Black Knight, Gabriel. Sir Elliot
    would inform the Black knight which hamlet to
    destroy, and then split the profits 60/40,
    with Sir Gabriel receiving the lion's share.
    It wasn't a bad life, actually.
    But all things good and bad must come to an end,
    for the Beautiful Princess Catherine
    and Lord Maxwell were on their way home..
    .and before Sir Elliot realized it, the time
    was gone.
    'Sir Elliot, Beautiful Princess Catherine
    and the king's trusted advisor are at
    the gates." announced the kingdom's town crier.
    "Ha... ya...I hear you!" shouted Sir
    Elliot, throwing his pillow out the
    window, hitting the crier on his head.
    Sir Elliot stumbled out of bed, crying,
    "Guard ! Guard!"
    HIs trusty weather-beaten guard came in.
    "Ha! There you are! I want you to get
    the others together. Make sure all the
    kegs of rum are hidden, and for God's misery,
    take the girls out the back while I stall,"
    ordered Sir Elliot.
    The guard just stared at Sir Elliot's floor.
    "What are you looking at?" Sir Elliot
    asked as he followed the guard's eyes
    down to his floor.
    "Your whoopie cushion sir." frowned the guard.
    Sir Elliot kicked the whoopee cushion under
    his bed and addressed his guard with irritation,
    "You're dismissed." As the guard left,
    Sir Elliot furiously dragged his clothes
    on and ran down the stairs into the courtyard
    yelling, "Toss the banners down ,
    and everyone cheer for your beloved
    Princess and the idiot with her!"
    Sir Elliot made it to the gate just
    in time as the drawbridge slowly lowered.
    As the carriage approached, Sir Elliot
    plastered on a smile. Beautiful Princess
    Catherine was the first to descend, with
    the aid of Sir Elliot. "Why, Beautiful
    Princess Catherine, France did wonders for you."
    =Thank God France worked the fat off her
    ,=he thought to himself.
    "Sir Elliot , you missed me!" she smiled and pouted.
    "And has such a beautiful Princess missed me?' he cooed
    "Oh, yes, I've missed such a handsome
    escort." she answered, placing a kiss
    on his cheek." But I have a surprise
    for you." Princess Catherine leaned
    back into her carriage as Lord Maxwell
    handed out a baby. Lord Maxwell's face
    looked down furiously at Sir Elliot.
    Sir Elliot gulped and fainted as two guards
    ran up to catch him. When Sir Elliot woke
    up in his bed, Beautiful Princess Catherine
    was sitting on his bed next to him.
    With vast relief, he whispered, "It was a
    bad dream--a baby."
    'No dear," Princess Catherine answered. "I'll tell you all about it."
    'But we were CAREFUL.'' he whimpered.
    "Well, do you want to see him?'
    'Do I have a choice?" Sir Elliot asked, closing his eyes.
    Princess Catherine had Plain Jane carry
    in the baby, who was crying and very soggy.
    She handed him and his leaking diaper
    straight to Sir Elliot, who dropped
    the baby onto the bed in disgust.
    "It's wet!" As he stared at the baby,
    who was moving his arms around, Sir Elliot
    noticed that the baby's hands had small
    claws on the ends of his fingertips.
    ***
    This time it was Sir Elliot that stayed
    in bed thinking. He thought for a long
    time. He thought until his weathered beaten
    guard came in. "Damn it! What do you want?"
    Sir Elliot whimpered petulantly.
    "It's a message from the Black Knight,
    Gabriel. He wants to see you NOW."
    "Just line up the archers and shoot me."
    Sir Elliot was quite despondent. "Get
    my horse,Tell Princess Catherine...No,
    never mind. Don't bother. She's probably
    playing with her new clothes." Sir Elliot
    sighed. "I'll be down in a minute.
    You're dismissed."
    The guard bowed slightly and left as
    Sir Elliot rose to get ready for his ordeal.
    The castle of the Black Knight was
    cold and damp. Sir Elliot wrapped
    his cloak tightly about him as he
    was lead by a hunchbacked little man
    to the Black Knight's lair. The room
    was stark, with only a huge fireplace.
    A tall, lean snake of a man stood by
    the fire.
    "Gabriel, nice to see you." Elliot managed to say
    "Stop the small patter, Elliot.
    You don't like to see me at all."
    Gabriel's voice was low and cold,
    and it sent chill's through poor Sir
    Elliot, who was already miserable enough..
    "I wouldn't say that. We work well
    enough together." Sir Elliot tried
    to seem unconcerned.
    "Do you know why you're here, Elliot.?"
    Sir Elliot shook his head and gave Gabriel a hesitant smile.
    "You're here because I want a son," the Black Knight told him.
    Sir Elliot looked down at himself
    and then over to Gabriel in shock before
    speaking "I don't think I'm your type."
    "Not YOU, You money hungry dimwit!
    I need a strong son to carry on my name."
    "But you already have a son, "Sir
    Elliot said, peering around.
    "No, my son died a manly death."
    "
    One on the battlefield?"
    "No."
    "Fighting over money?"
    "No"
    "Over a woman?"
    "No."
    "Well, then, how the hell else could he have died?"
    Gabriel grinned, and he looked like
    a skull. "I said he died a manly death
    in the heat of competition."
    Raising his eyebrows, Sir Elliot shrugged.
    Gabriel rolled his eyes. "My son farted
    into the fireplace and blew himself up."
    Sir Elliot looked down at the hard
    cold floor and tried hard to keep from
    laughing. He couldn't imagine...if
    HE farted into the fireplace, all it ever
    got HIM was scorched.
    The Black Knight Gabriel said, "I
    heard though my spies that a son
    born of a plain servant had claws.
    THAT is the child I want."
    "Well I don't think..." Sir Elliot began, but he was interrupted
    "Nobody asked you to think. You
    will get me the child, or else
    it's going to come out to your king
    that you've been telling me where to
    burn down hamlets that housed certain items."
    Sir Elliot took a deep breath and felt
    a certain relief. =Oh well. Children
    do die everyday.= He figured he could
    just pay off the servant, Plain Jane,
    hire a doctor to tell his Beautiful,
    unfaithful, fur-crazy Princess that
    her child died, and buy her some new
    clothes. It could work. "You have a
    deal. Can I go now?"
    Gabriel motioned to the small hunchback
    , who grabbed Sir Elliot's hand to
    lead him out. Gabriel wasn't done yet.
    An old wizard of a man came forward.
    Well, seer," he said, "You know what
    to do. I will have the child of Princess
    Catherine and Prince Vincent. And if she
    does come as you predicted, deal with her."
    Gabriel laughed an evil laugh.
    The old wizard disappeared back into
    the darkness he came from.
    ***
    While Sir Elliot was bribing Plain
    Jane and the Doctor, Beautiful Princess
    Catherine was on her way to Prince
    Vincent to tell him of his son and ask
    him to raise the baby. She figured
    that because the baby was born with
    claws the people, both rich and poor
    might take it as an sign of evil.
    Prince Vincent meanwhile had received
    news of his Beloved coming home,
    and was going into the woods to await
    her arrival. Beautiful Princess
    Catherine was halfway to Vincent
    when she was appoarched by an old man.
    Going up to the lovely Princess,
    the man bowed slightly. "Never have
    I seen such a beautiful Princess in
    this or any other land. I am your
    servant, my Lady."
    "Oh arise, peasant," she said happily
    . "You may kiss my ring, for you have
    greatly pleased me...just don't drool
    on it." She held her hand out for the
    old man to kiss her ring.
    "Princess," he told her, "I am but
    a poor wizard, but I have great
    powers. I shall grant you three
    wishes for a diamond."
    The princess started to laugh at the
    old wizard. "I'm no fool. Give me
    your three wishes first, old one..
    .and THEN I'll give you a diamond ring."
    He bowed "Your wishes are my command
    ...but only two wishes, then the diamond.
    ..a diamond so perfect and pure.
    ..and only then will your last wish
    be granted." His eyes twinkled in merriment.
    "My first wish is to have the
    most beautiful dress in the world."
    PUFF a puff of smoke and the
    Beautiful Princess Catherine
    was now wearing the most beautiful
    gown she had ever seen. She jumped
    up and down in excitement.
    "My second wish is a white seal
    cloak to cover my beautiful dress."
    PUFF a second puff of smoke and
    Princess Catherine was wearing a
    long white seal cloak over her beautiful dress.
    Princess Catherine was beside herself
    with sheer joy.
    "It is done," the old man said,
    "and now for my payment, for I
    have kept my part of this agreement."
    Beautiful Princess Catherine frowned
    and eyed the old wizard up and down,
    appraising him. At this ancient age
    he must be senile, she reasoned,
    remembering the old chipped child's
    diamond ring her father had given her
    .She pulled off that ring and handed
    it to the old wizard, who took it in
    his twisted old hand and clenched it tightly.
    "Now for your last wish," he said, a
    tinge of spite echoed in his words.
    "I wish that I was young and Beautiful forever"
    The old man laughed. "So might it be,"
    he snarled. Gabriel was right. She
    was vain and empty-headed. Princess
    Catherine began to slowly freeze and
    turn into a crystal statue, but her mind
    screamed out for Prince Vincent, who
    always rescued her.
    Prince Vincent was still waiting for
    Princess Catherine when he heard her
    heart screaming inside him. The beast
    within him roared in fury.
    He made it to the little clearing in
    under a minute--a record time. And
    stopped dead in his tracks, for there before
    him was the beautiful Princess Catherine
    turned into crystal.
    The old wizard who was on the other
    side of Catherine didn't see Prince
    Vincent.as he raised his voice to
    the heavens: "You are cursed to
    be as you wanted--young and beautiful
    forever! Only three magic words can free
    you unless..."
    Prince Vincent roared out at the old
    wizard,who turned to run. only to be
    lifted up into the air with his feet
    dangling. '"Remove the curse!"
    Prince Vincent roared into the old
    wizards face. The man was petrified.
    ..he started gasping for breath, turning blue,
    his eyes popping out. "My heart,"
    gasped the wizard with his last breath,
    and died from a combination heart
    attack and ancient age right in Vincent's hands.
    "Aaaaaah!" Vincent cried out as he
    dropped the old dead wizard to the ground.
    Prince Vincent fell to the ground beside him.
    "You must live!" The old wizard began to
    crumble, turning to dust and was being
    blown away in the wind. Prince Vincent
    collapsed and roared. He looked up at
    his Princess...now cold crystal . He wanted to die.
    ***
    Darkness descended, and with it Vincent's
    mind...which retreated into the darkness
    of his own soul, leaving Beautiful, cold
    crystal Princess Catherine to stand her
    lonely vigil.
    Sir Elliot, who knew nothing of these events
    , carried a tiny, wailing baby to the castle
    of the Black Knight, Gabriel. He was greeted
    by the strange hunchback, who smiled
    toothlessly and said, "Master will be pleased."
    The gnarled man took the small squirming
    bundle away from Sir Elliot. "Follow me."
    Sir Elliot followed a short distance from
    the hunchback, and soon he found himself
    before the gaunt-faced Sir Gabriel.
    The hunchback disappeared, carrying
    the child with him. "A deformed child-
    -a seed of evil, these stupid peasants will
    call him," Elliot said.
    "Also some of your friends," Gabriel stated matter of factly.
    Elliot shrugged. "Well, I look
    at it this way--I only have one
    handsome hide but I can still have
    lots of kids...and they'll probably
    not have claws.
    "I know," Gabriel said, eyes glittering
    with malice. The look in them made Sir
    Elliot cringe. Gabriel tossed Sir Elliot
    a bag filled with gold coins."Our
    transaction is finished, and you should
    know your way out by now." Gabriel turned
    to the fire, presenting his back to Sir Elliot.
    =Dismissed!= Sir Elliot thought furiously.
    =He actually just...dismissed me!=
    The angry thoughts buzzed furiously
    through Sir Elliot's mind, but after the
    last week of stress and worry, he was willing
    to let it go. Just so he didn't have to
    worry about that kid. All he wanted to
    do was get out of this castle...this
    nightmare...and get roaring drunk.
    After Sir Elliot left the castle, he
    rode his horse over a ridge, and before
    him stood a crystal statue of Princess
    Catherine. The detail was incredible!
    "My God!" he exclaimed. "It almost
    looks alive! I MUST have this!
    This should pacify her for losing
    the kid! She'll forget EVERYTHING
    when she sees this!"
    Sir Elliot galloped his horse as fast
    as he could back to the castle and
    ordered a group of men to convey the
    statue to the kingdom's garden right
    outside beautiful Princess Catherine's
    window. =That should shut her up,= he
    thought with satisfaction as he ordered
    several of his bigger (not brighter)
    guards to the task.
    When the guards finally reached the crystal
    Princess Catherine, they were also amazed
    and in awe. At first. Then they were VERY
    unhappy. The oldest of the guardsmen
    peered over his horse's head at it.
    "God, it's life sized! If I haven't
    got a hernia from carrying all her fancy
    junk I will now."
    "What are you complaining about," said
    another. "Let's just tie it up and
    drag it back behind a horse."
    "And CHIP it? God's bones, you idiot!
    Sir Elliot would have our hides!"
    the older one answered. Sighing and
    with obvious resignation, he got off his
    horse. "Come on, you pea-brained dogs..
    .let's get the dang thing back home...at
    least this one can't be as big a pain as
    the original."
    Each one tried in vain to lift the
    crystal statue. "Well," the older
    guard said as he wiped sweat from
    his brow and gasped for breath.
    "Looks are we ARE going to drag this thing back."
    "I told you we shoulda got a wagon,
    " a skinny guard complained.
    "You did NOT," another said.
    "Yep, I did I said...."
    The old guard interrupted. "Will the
    both of you just SHUT-UP and help me tie
    this rope around Miss Monarch here?" Eventually
    , after several tries, they managed to secure
    the rope around the crystal Princess. They backed
    off to survey their handiwork. "Not bad.
    It should hold," the older one commented.
    The smallest one grumbled.
    "I shoulda stayed back at the
    castle and got drunk with Sir Elliot.
    Why should HE have all the fun?"
    "Cause he's a SIR, you dummy," the
    other one said, while whacking him on the
    head with the end of the rope.
    "Don't call me a dummy!"
    The older guard pulled out his
    sword and with the flat side
    hit both of the quarrelsome guards.
    "Can't you two stop for five seconds?"
    "Well he..." each pointing the finger at the other
    "NO! STOP NOW!" the older guard yelled.
    "I'm gonna get on my horse now and pull
    this monster over. I want you two to
    make sure its goes gently onto the ground
    so it don't break. You nitwits got that?"
    "Yes sir, " they said in unison. For
    the first time today they were in agreement.
    Each of the guards braced themselves
    as the older guard got onto his horse
    and started the moving slowly forward.
    With the cystal Princess tilted
    halfway over, the rope holding the
    Princess came untied...and the statue
    fell to the ground to break in a
    hundred shattered pieces.
    They all stood silent for a long moment,
    their mouths hanging open.
    Then the bickering began again.
    "Oh Lordy, Lordy...you done broke her."
    "No you did".
    "No, YOU tied the rope "
    "YOU tied the end that came loose "
    The older guard was in a state of shock.
    He tumbled limply off his horse and sat
    with his hands on his head peering at
    the shattered pieces. "He dropped her,"
    he muttered. "Oh Lordy...Sir Elliot
    is gonna kill us. First he's gonna skin us.
    ..then draw and quarter us.
    Then burn the pieces."
    "HE broke her--I didn't"
    "OH SHUT THE HELL UP!" The old
    guard--whose name was Derek--screamed.
    "I'm thinking." =I'm thinkin'
    that maybe I imagined it.= He
    closed his eyes, squinching them
    shut as tight as he could, then
    opened them carefully. Nope. She
    was still in pieces. Derek picked up
    a small piece and tried to fit it
    together with another one, but they
    just wouldn't fit. "Well boys I done
    come up with a solution," he said, finally.
    "And what's that?"
    "Well, boys...I got one thing to
    say. Knowin' my son, Elliot...I'd say RUN!
    He ain't gonna be none to pleased
    with ME, neither!"
    After looking at each other for a minute,
    they all three jumped on their horses
    and rode away at a gallop, leaving
    behind a crystal-littered clearing.
    If they'd stayed a few minutes
    more, they'd have seen a huge
    white vapor rise from the ground
    and the crystal and dissipate into the air.
    ***
    "Sir Elliot!" Lord Maxwell's voice
    vibrated through Sir Elliot's whiskey
    soaked brain, bounced around in his
    head and settled.
    "Lord Maxwell, will you please talk
    softly ?" Sir Elliot murmured in pain.
    "You're a pitiful excuse for an human
    being, and an inept one to be the kings surrogate."
    "Huff." Sir Elliot said, shaking
    his head to clear it--then regretting
    the movement. =What was Lord
    Maxwell saying? Something about the king.=
    Lord Maxwell kept talking. "But I
    have more pressing problems right
    now than your ineptitude.. Where
    is the Beautiful Princess Catherine?"
    Sir Elliot groaned and held his head.
    "The beautiful Princess Catherine is
    probably in the East wing playing with
    her new clothes, or outside staring at
    her statue."
    "What are you babbling about?" Lord
    Maxwell asked. "There are no statues
    in the garden! And I already checked
    the east wing while you were passed out.
    I called on my guards and yours to
    search the castle grounds. Remember.
    ..it's your head. Seems you'd be a bit
    more concerned about keeping it." Lord
    Maxwell gave Sir Elliot a sly, menacing smile.
    Cold sober now, Sir Elliot looked
    up at Lord Maxwell. "I hate my life."
    After Lord Maxwell left, Sir Elliot
    cried for his guard. "GUARD! GUARD?"
    His loyal, weathered beaten guard came instantly. "Yes sir?"
    "Are those guards I sent out back yet?"
    "No Sir. Maybe they be out looking for
    the beautiful, ,cough vain, Princess Catherine."
    Three days and two nights passed, and
    Sir Elliot was beside himself. Beautiful
    Princess Catherine was gone, three guards
    ( including his father) and that neat statue
    were missing...everything gone like a puff
    of smoke. It didn't help any when Lord
    Maxwell appeared every so often singing,
    "I don't have nobody," causing Sir Elliot
    to touch his own neck in panic--making sure
    it was still safe ,sound and untouched.
    ***
    Days passed into weeks. There was still
    no word. Castle guards went out day after
    day, hour after hour, to find the Beautiful
    Princess Catherine and the wayward
    guards--only to come back empty-handed
    each time.
    A tall, lean guard leaned over his horse
    to tell his friend, "I'm getting sick
    of this stupid horse. My butt hurts.
    I bet the dear Beautiful Princess
    Catherine is shacked up somewhere."
    His companion beside him stretched out
    his arms and groaned. "I'd bet a copper
    piece she's out buying a new chastity
    belt with jeweled escape catch."
    The tall, lean guard laughed. "Okay,
    you're on. A copper says she's shacked
    up with some lord or sir, or else she
    dropped dead when she broke her fingernail."
    "That's too many choices...." his companion
    began, then whispered, "Hush! it's Lord
    hotsy-topsy himself...our second great Lord,
    Lord Maxwell."
    Lord Maxwell approached, sitting stiff
    and straight on his saddle. The pure white horse
    pranced over to the guards. "You men
    have any luck?" he asked, looking around.
    The guards also peered dutifully
    around."No Sir. We didn't see her."
    "Well then," Lord Maxwell commented,
    "We'll have to go to plan B."
    "Plan B ?" questioned one of the guards fearfully.
    "Yes plan B! We ride into the closest
    hamlet and kill every peasant we see,
    but a few we'll torture the information
    out of." Lord Maxwell bellowed.
    The guards looked at each other maybe
    it wasn't going to be a bad day after
    all. They had suggested that plan early
    on, but Sir Elliot refused. He didn't
    want too many peasants hurt, or else
    that would hurt their tax revenue.
    Lord Maxwell was working himself into
    a frothing fury, screaming, "We will
    find the Princess or kill everything
    in our paths!"
    The guards were impatient to get on
    their path of destruction and they
    followed Lord Maxwell to the castles
    drawbridge. But as soon as the drawbridge
    opened into the spacious brilliant
    daylight and then fanned out into the
    contrast of dark woods, uneasiness
    filled their souls and clouded their minds
    . A strange silence filled the air
    which was only broken by an occasional,
    earsplitting caterwauling of pain.
    The first time this happened, horses
    bolted every which way and chaos erupted
    among the men . Strong hearts failed,
    turning the powerful guards into
    frightened children. Sir Elliot
    burst into the middle of all this
    chaos. Grabbing Lord Maxwell by
    the cuff of his shirt, he pulled
    him to one side. "What's happening?" he yelled.
    "Your men are cowards Sir Elliot," Lord
    Maxwell jeered. "They are children
    afraid of the dark! God in heaven, how will
    I EVER find my beloved Beautiful
    Princess Catherine with these idots?"
    Another ear-splitting roar echoed through
    the trees. Sir Elliot didn't answer
    Lord Maxwell, for everyone knew that the
    elite guards were pulled away to accompany
    the King to his northern provinces.
    All that were left were the guards who
    were used as servants to the Beautiful
    Princess Catherine, and most of them didn't
    particularly want her found. They were far
    more interested in who was going to win
    the bets going around as to where she'd
    finally turn up.
    However, Sir Elliot knew that
    the only person who might know
    where Beautiful Princess Catherine
    was, was the Black Knight, Prince
    Gabriel. Only half-listening to Lord
    Maxwell, Sir Elliot was busy thinking
    of ways to get the informaiton from
    old hatchet-faced Gabe, grab the
    Princess and bring her back--which
    would not only save his NECK, but
    would save Cat as well.
    Lord Maxwell was saying, "We need
    a hunter. When I was up north with
    the king, we heard about great hunter
    who has a quick mind and who is completely
    unafraid." He shouted loudly, "Guard!"
    but most of the guards merely ran past
    him in a panic until he finally stuck
    out his foot and tripped one.
    The fallen guard peered up at Lord Maxwell
    , then back to the ground as he pushed
    himself up. The guard reminded Lord Maxwell
    of a rodent, or a weasel. Shaking his
    finger at the guard, he told him, " I want
    you to get a message to the Lady Diana and
    tell her I need her immediately! Do you
    think you're capable of getting that
    message up north?"
    The guard looked dazed, and Sir
    Elliot tried to think of anyone
    named Diana. "Lady Diana?
    I don't think I know her." =She
    must be a real dog, if I haven't
    heard of her before now,= he thought.
    Lord Maxwell looked down his nose at him.
    "Lady Diana is in one of the northern
    provinces. I met her once on a trip
    with the King. The people of her country
    have the highest praise of her abilities."
    Sir Elliot sneered. "A girl? You're sending for a GIRL?"
    ***
    Sir Elliot was furious! Lord Maxwell
    thought a GIRL could out-do him!
    And his guards were chuckling as Lord
    Maxwell gave the selected guards their
    final instructions. With a grumble,
    Sir Elliot whirled his horse around and left.
    While heading to the castle of the Black
    Prince Gabriel, he passed the small clearing
    and looked around for the beautiful crystal
    statue of Beautiful Princess Catherine, he
    found only crystal fragments littering the
    ground. With a frown, Sir Elliot kicked at
    a small piece of crystal lying by his foot.
    "That's it! When I capture those guards-
    -and I will--I'm going to have them drawn
    and quartered and the pieces burned!"
    Then, Sir Elliot remembered that one of
    them was his father. He slowly shook his
    head . =Okay, I'll just draw and quarter
    HIM, but since he's my Dad, I'll just feed
    his dismembered body to the dogs and bury
    the leftovers later. Sir Elliot lelaned
    over, picked up a piece of crystal and stuck
    it in the pocket of his cloak. After all,
    Princess Catherine always loved anything
    that sparkled. He kept the piece because
    it reminded him of her...and after all,
    they'd had some good times. He smiled dreamily
    as he jumped back on his horse and
    continued his trip to the Black knight's
    castle.
    When Sir Elliot arrived at the castle
    , he didn't bother to stop to wait for
    the hunchbacked, toothless wonder of
    a little fat guy to lead him into the
    dark castle of the Dark Prince Gabriel
    .The tall lean vulture was standing in
    the same place by the fireplace...just
    as though he'd never moved since Sir
    Elliot had left.
    "Where is she? The lovely ,charming
    Beautiful Princess Catherine?" Sir
    Elliot demanded from the figure at the fire.
    As the lanky skull like features of Gabriel
    turned toward him, the mouth moved and
    he asked, "Did I summon you here?"
    Sir Elliot's courage was fading fast
    . "Well, no. But listen...I'm sorta
    responsible for her safety. I can
    lose my head over this,and I want to
    keep it. I don't care about the kid.
    ..it's probably not mine anyway, but
    my head I care about!"
    "Calm down, Sir Elliot!" Gabriel smiled thinly.
    "You're under my protection here. Plus, the
    Princess brightens up that small clearing."
    His smile widened evilly.
    "Clearing?" Sir Elliot barked. "I just
    passed that clearing! There's nothing
    there but a lot of broken crystal from
    the statue of the Beautiful Princess."
    His voice was tight and he felt frightened.
    But the Black knight began laughing a dry
    cold laugh. "Well, you see...it seems
    our beautiful Princess Catherine has
    gone to pieces."
    "Pieces?" What are you...." a fire
    burned in Sir Elliot's head--a dawning-
    -as he fished out the small piece of
    crystal he'd placed in his cloak.
    He stared in mezmerized horror at the
    colors glistening and glinting in the
    lovely crystal and dropped it to the
    floor, not wanting to touch it any longer.
    Lord Gabriel chuckled. "It seems that
    our little vain Princess just can't keep
    it all together." Then another hideous
    laugh echoed through the room.
    Overcome with emotion, Sir Elliot
    gripped his dagger and was about to
    pull it out when a chill overcame him,
    sending him into shivering convulsions.
    The Black knight Gabriel walked swiftly
    over to Sir Elliot and took hold of
    his hair and yanked his head up so
    he could stare into his eyes. "Get
    a grip! She isn't of any use anymore.
    She dead, and nothing can bring her back."
    Sir Elliot felt his legs give way.
    "Now," Gabriel asked cheerfully as
    he released his hold on Elliot's hair,
    "what's going on back at the castle?"
    "Nothing!" Sir Elliot croaked hoarsely.
    "We...we were all out looking for a
    Princess." With a sadness he hadn't
    expected to feel, he bent to retrieve
    the crystal. Fascinated, he stared at
    it as he absently whispered, "Oh...and
    Lord Maxwell sent word to find a certain
    lady Diana."
    "Ah! Lady Diana! I'm impressed.
    The huntress! I'm very impressed
    that anyone was smart enough to call
    for her."
    "She's just a woman," whimpered Sir
    Elliot, as he started to cry, then
    wail as he ran the crystal over his
    face. "Oh, my precious, precious one."
    The black knight shook his head in
    disgust, drew his sword and promptly
    ran Sir Elliot though. Sir Elliot's
    eyes bulged as he stared at Gabriel
    in astonishment. Gabriel gently
    pushed Sir Elliot's shoulder and
    watched him crumple to the ground.
    Taking a handkerchief from his waistcoat,
    he muttered, "Hate to see good men
    turning to mush after a woman." He
    peered down at Sir Elliot's crumpled figure,
    the crystal pressed into his cheek ,cupped
    in his hand.
    ***
    The hunchback peered down at Sir Elliots
    body, kicked it to see if it would
    move. "I see we have another for dog chow."
    He grinned toothlessly at Lord Gabriel.
    "Shall I feed him to your pit bulls, my
    sovereign?"
    Lord Gabriel turned away and glared deep
    into the fire. "No, don't. Sir Elliot
    would be spoiled meat. I don't want my
    little ones to get sick. Just toss
    him down the well with the others."
    Turning back to the flames, Gabriel
    wondered if he ever get warm.
    He could hear the hunchback dragging
    Sir Elliot's body out of his chamber.
    Drifting in from distant breezes came
    the sounds of wailing . Gabriel smiled,
    thinking to himself that he SHOULD send
    someone out to check the traps, but the
    sad cries of a creature in pain calmed him.
    Meanwhile, only a forest away, the Kingdom
    of Price Vincent's was an echoing nightmare of
    caterwauling, moaning and hysterical whimping.
    When Mary entered the Good King Jacob's
    throneroom, she yelled, "Good king Jacob!"
    but the good king just sat there, totally
    oblivious to her. Mouse stood near the king
    with huge cottonballs stuffed in his large
    ears. "GOOD KING!" Mary screamed again over
    the whimping wailing that was coming from
    Prince Vincent's chambers. By jumping up and
    down and waving her arms around, she was
    finally seen by the good king.
    He said something to her, but
    she could only see his mouth move...
    the words were swallowed up by
    Vincent's lamintations. Good King
    Jacob motioned to Mary to stop as he
    grabbed cottonballs from his own ears.
    "I can't stand this anymore," he screamed.
    "Why is it that when he finally
    falls in love, I had to pay for it?
    I tried to talk to Prince Vincent,
    even ordered him to stop...but..."
    He threw his arms up into the air.
    Leaning closer to the Good King to
    scream into his ear, Mary told him
    , "While I'm sorry that Princess
    Catherine didn't come back, we...I mean
    YOU have more pressing problems! The good
    citizens who love Prince Vincent have
    had enough! They want to leave the
    kingdom in order to find a quieter
    place to live."
    That was the last straw for the Good
    King. He jumped out of his throne,
    and taking his cane in hand, he marched
    straight down the tunnel to Prince
    Vincent's room, pausing only once
    to place the cottonballs back into
    his ears. Upon entering Prince Vincent's
    chamber, he saw that papers were
    throw on the floor, the bedding
    was ripped to pieces, and Prince
    Vincent was lying in the middle
    of the mess, his head bowed to the
    floor. He was moaning.
    The Good King walked over to his son.
    "Vincent?" he called loudly.
    When Prince Vincent ignored
    the Good King because he couldn't
    hear him over his own loud moaning,
    the Good King grabbed him by his shoulder.
    Prince Vincent stared up at his father
    through mist-blurred eyes. "Father,
    I have lost my life and my beloved."
    King Jacob grabbed Prince Vincent by
    his ear and pulled him up to his feet
    . "Do you know that most of the good
    citizens of our kingdom, including
    myself, are very close to becoming
    deaf or running away because of this
    nonsense? I'm sorry she didn't
    come back, but it's been four days now,
    and I've had ENOUGH! I hate to do
    this to you, son but for the good of
    my kingdom, you're going to have to leave
    if you don't stop this...and stop it NOW!
    Prince Vincent sniffled and gingerly
    took out a quarter-sized piece of crystal
    that he had found stuck to his clothing.
    It had to be something of Princess
    Catherine that had fallen off during her
    transformation. Holding it up, he forlornly
    examined the piece of his love--or maybe
    a piece of her dress, or her shoe. Or was
    it a clasp from her cloak?
    King Jacob snatched the piece of crystal from Prince Vincent's hand.
    "She's gone forever," Prince Vincent sniffled
    as he watched his father hold a piece of his beloved.
    "Oh , she'll be back," the King said. "I can't see
    that one leaving a diamond behind...she took everything-
    - including all the silverware--when she was here last
    time. I'm still eating with my fingers." Shaking his
    head slowly, Good King Jacob went to hand the crystal
    back to Prince Vincent--but it slipped from his hand
    and shattered on the floor. Vincent howled loudly
    and Good King Jacob stepped away in surprise,
    only to have Prince Vincent run insanely past
    him into the darkness--still howling.
    Prince Vincent now held on sparkling
    powder in his hand .Instinct alone
    was leading him back to the crystal
    statue of the Beautiful Princess
    Catherine just to try to figure out
    which part of her fell off--and hoping
    it was a part she didn't need.
    ***
    Prince Vincent was a sight--his fur matted, clothes
    torn. What he saw when he reached the
    clearing broke his heart--for there on the
    ground, scattered in thousands of
    glittering pieces was his Beautiful Princess
    Catherine. Over there and there and over
    there. Prince Vincent sank down to the ground
    as he mournfully picked up the shattered pieces of
    his love and stacked them into a large pile.
    His mist covered eyes searched the immediate
    area for the small remaining pieces of his
    beloved. Tears flowed freely down his face.
    He clawed at the soft ground in front of
    him slashing with his claws--viciously ripping
    into the earth until a good size hole was
    made, into which he delicately placed fragments
    of his Beautiful shattered Princess Catherine
    and after a few seconds he tenderly covered
    her. Prince Vincent threw himself upon
    the mound of dirt which covered his beloved
    and moaned. A silent witness to the prince's
    grief was Mouse's raccoon, who sat on
    a broken tree stump, busily playing
    with a glittering piece of the Princess
    with his furry little paws, tossing
    it high up and catching it when
    it came down.
    A fortnight had come and gone.
    Lord Maxwell was going mad over
    everything that had taken place:
    Beautiful Princess Catherine,
    a dead baby, three guards, and
    at last report Sir Elliot had
    not yet returned from his little
    excursion. Princess Catherine and
    Sir Elliot were two people who were
    too self centered and accustomed to
    the good life to disappear deliberately,
    and as for the three guards he could
    really care less about them. They
    didn't matter. In the long run,
    subordinates never did. He knew that
    most of the guards were talking behind
    his back since he sent for the huntress,
    but they were also scared each day and
    night as the sounds of inhuman cries
    filled the air. Currents of fear tingled
    in every nerve cell in their bodies,
    including Lord Maxwell's. To face men
    in battle was one thing, but to face
    the unknown--a demon--was another.
    In reality Lord Maxwell could neglect
    the citizens' and guards' pettiness.
    Sir Elliot was reckless about keeping
    his head attached to his shoulders,
    but Lord Maxwell wasn't. =Thank God
    the king had sent word that he was
    spending at least a year in the northern
    provinces with his new wife, the
    Princess Robin. He didn't mention his
    daughter, the Princess Catherine once.
    ***
    Time passed and there was still no real
    news of anything at all. Their only
    hope was the Lady Diana. Each expedition
    sent out met with nothing. No Catherine,
    no guards. It was discouraging.
    Days and nights tended to blend in together.
    Only Lord Maxwell could see the light-
    -she was coming, the Lady Diana.
    He was surprised to find himself missing
    that rat, Sir Elliot--who you couldn't
    trust as far as you could throw, the bastard-
    -but at least he'd been someone Lord Maxwell
    could have talked to about the situation.
    Right now, he couldn't trust anyone.
    At least with Sir Elliot, he'd known what
    ratpack he was in.
    Just outside the kingdom in a
    little village, one of Gabriel's
    henchman was posing as the Black Knight
    Gabriel. A lure for a huntress.
    The false black knight saw a horse
    approaching, ridden by a tall, thin woman.
    She stood before him on her horse,
    unafraid...her fiery hair flowing free
    in the breeze, a blue line painted across
    her forehead. He watched her in admiration.
    "Well what do we have here? Money?
    No, you look poor enough...no gold,
    no jewels...but you have the most enchanting
    eyes. I shall take YOU, my beauty!"
    The Lady Diana simply smiled at the false
    black knight. "Then you're out of luck,"
    she told him, her tone showing her contempt
    at the statement. The Lady Diana slid
    off her horse and faced him. The peasants
    ran for cover as she smiled calmly and
    coolly. The knight took a step toward
    her, and she moved slightly off to the
    side...the knight followed, and stepped
    into a small snake hole. Just as Diana
    had known he would do. She kicked out,
    connecting with his midriff, knocking
    him over. She knew from experience that
    a knight's armor would make it impossible
    to get up by himself once he was down.
    She leaned over the fallen knight and
    told him in a silken voice, "I'm sorry,
    but I'm only a girl and can't help you up."
    Proud and defiant, the Lady Diana mounted
    her horse again and rode over to the
    knight, who was still struggling to
    right himself. "Don't worry, my lord,
    no one has bested me yet. You aren't
    the first to lie at my feet." Deep currents
    ran through her statement--promises of
    what would happen if there were man or
    beast strong enough to defeat her.
    Wailing animal cries echoed though
    the forest, but Lady Diana had no
    time to investigate. She had been
    summoned to do a job and she would
    not turn from that until it was done.
    Diana raised her bow high up into the
    air in a gesture of triumph, and as
    she did, she saw a movement on the
    distant hill--another knight...and
    instinctively she knew it was the REAL
    Black Knight Gabriel--mimicked her
    gesture. The small handful of peasants
    that the black knight or the kings men
    hadn't killed, came forward, clapping
    and cheering. She rode past them on
    her way to the great castle to meet
    with the Lord Maxwell.
    As Lady Diana approached the castle,
    the guards lowered the drawbridge
    and Lord Maxwell came out to meet her.
    "Lady Diana, my pleasure." Lord Maxwell
    bowed and extended his hand to help Diana
    down, but she ignored him and jumped from
    her horse.
    "Lord Maxwell." It was more like a statement
    then a greeting her tone was cold as ice.
    "Shouldn't we discuss the business at hand?"
    The Lord Maxwell, more accustomed to
    women like Princess Catherine was a bit
    unsure how to handle this amazing
    creature with her direct blue-eyed gaze
    and sense of power. It made him feel
    awkward...but he tried to compliment her.
    "If you would follow me this way, lovely
    creature of the forest, I will tell
    you of our plight." He offered her
    his arm, but the Lady Diana ignored
    it, looking straight into his eyes...
    then she entered the castle throneroom
    ahead of him. Lord Maxwell followed,
    feeling a bit foolish and wondering if
    it was worth the effort to try to woo
    and bed her. But as she turned back
    to him, the light struck her and his
    mouth went dry. His mind screamed...
    =Yes...oh, yes. It was worth it.="
    ***
    "So what do you want from me,
    Lord Maxwell?" Her voice was
    calm and professional, without
    a trace of coquettery.
    "In a word, we need your abilities to find someone."
    "And who am I to find? I'm not here to
    play a question and answer game."
    "The beautiful Princess Catherine and Sir Elliot," he told her.
    She smiled. "I know Sir Elliot. He kept
    drooling on me and calling me his ' wood
    fairy'. I don't much care for men who
    drool. Why would you possibly want to
    find him?" She looked at Lord Maxwell
    as if he were mad.
    Feeling defensive, Lord Maxwell told her,
    "I have no choice in that matter. He is
    the king's accountant and loyal friend."
    He almost choked over the "loyal friend" bit.
    "Well," she quizzed, "what about this
    Princess Catherine? Can I see her room.?"
    "Sure," Lord Maxwell said, blushing
    a little. "But it's all of the east wing.
    The last seven rooms are filled with
    her clothes and stuff."
    Diana slowly inclined her head as Lord Maxwell
    held out his arm to escort her up the stairs.
    She disregard his arm and in one swift motion
    turned to the staircase with Lord Maxwell
    advancing straight behind her. He cautiously
    judged each word he was going to say, trying
    to paint himself in the best light and unattached
    to this bewitching lady. "My Lady, Princess
    Catherine was a beautiful Princess of this kingdom.
    She was a true woman...she cared for her looks
    and the pleasure of men who took care of her."
    Lady Diana gave no indication of listening
    to him as Lord Maxwell continued. "We had
    just come back from France. She was in high
    spirits and she had received a lot of presents
    from her many admirers..." He stopped short,
    his attention drawn to the work of art in front
    of him--the wispy figure of the Lady secure
    In her quiet solitude of her intellectual mind.
    Lady Diana was beginning to get a picture
    of the Princess Catherine, and she knew
    that this so-called Princess wouldn't run
    unless it was into the arms of another caregiver.
    There was no ransom note or else this stuffed
    peacock would have mentioned it, and since
    he sent for her she already knew that the
    so called Beautiful Narcissistic Princess
    hadn't been found. There was only one other
    possibility: she was dead. Lady Diana stopped
    abruptly, which caused Lord Maxwell to
    accidentally brush against her--something
    he took full advantage of. A dagger
    was in her hand before he could breathe.
    They faced each other eye to eye until he
    lowered his eyes and moved away from her.
    Lord Maxwell had never felt so powerless.
    He rather liked the feeling...having
    some of the burden of responsibility and
    decision taken off his shoulders.
    He waved his hand toward the eastwing.
    "I shall take my leave of you, my beautiful,
    ferocious mistress. I'll wait for you down
    the stairs. I'll be the one wearing the dog collar
    ." His eyes sparkled with the thoughts of this amazon woman.
    Diana watched in amusement as Lord Maxwell
    ran down the steps, taking two at a time.
    =Men are strange creatures,= she thought
    to herself as she proceeded to the
    eastwing and Princess Catherine's rooms.
    It was easy to find Princess Catherine's room.
    Mirrors gilded the walls, the room boasted an
    elegant canopy bed and golden table. Diana
    eased her way over towards the table.
    Everything was clean and fresh.
    Lady Diana touched the table gently
    with her fingertips after putting her
    knife down onto its golden surface.
    But nothing came to her...no impressions.
    Slowly she pulled herself away, gathering
    up her knife and placing it back in her belt .
    After a further search that yielded nothing
    in the bedroom, Lady Diana proceeded to the
    smaller adjacent room, only to be greeted by
    a large golden table with every square inch
    of table space covered with makeup and bottles
    ,a large velvet chair which was pushed delicately
    in as if awaiting its mistress' return. =Nothing
    but vanity,= Lady Diana thought, shaking her head
    in total astonishment. Lady Diana closed her
    eyes and waited until something briefly
    tugged at her mind. Following her intuition,
    she found a small room down the corridor,
    three doors down from Princess Catherine's room.
    This doorway led her to a pile of letters
    in the middle of the floor. Each letter bore
    the seal of a cat. Some were opened, while
    others remained with their seals intact.
    Diana picked up one of the closest letters
    to her, and then another and another,
    scanning the lines. Each one started out
    the same way: "To my Beloved."
    Sonnets and poetry--all love letters..
    .elegantly written...each ending with,
    "My Beloved, you hold my happiness and my
    life within your two delicate hands, and I
    swear my life and loyalty to you yours,
    Prince Vincent." This was one name Lady
    Diana hadn't heard. She spent most of that
    day and evening reading Prince Vincent's
    words to Princess Catherine.
    The Lady Diana became lost in the words.
    Whereas Princess Catherine had seen them
    only as pleas of how Prince Vincent would
    love and protect her, Lady Diana saw them
    as a man pouring out his soul to a no-good
    little brat who didn't deserve the love he
    was sending to her through his words. The
    letters touched Lady Diana's heart--which
    made her extremely uncomfortable. The emotion
    penetrated the barriers Lady Diana had built
    so carefully through the years. She read one
    letter after another, and after reading all
    of them, she leaned back, closed her eyes and
    tried to picture the Prince that could have
    sent such sweet words of love...but no form
    came to mind. She knew that for some reason
    Princess Catherine had gone to Prince Vincent
    --but she always returned to her own life
    without him. Perhaps she felt she was
    needed by her own people...from what she
    knew about Princess Catherine, she knew Prince
    Vincent must be rich, elegant and a protector.
    And he must be nearby.
    As the Lady Diana sat, lost in her
    thoughts, a small noise behind her
    alerted her to someone's presence.
    She turned, and a small, tearful woman
    greeted her. "My Lady, Lord Maxwell
    would like you to join him."she bowed her head.
    "Thank you," Lady Diana answered. "Did you know Princess Catherine?"
    "Yes my lady. I was her personal servant." A tear fell from her eye.
    "What can you tell me about Prince Vincent?" Diana asked.
    "I don't know," she whispered, bending her head.
    "I'm not here to hurt your precious
    Princess. I'm here to find her. Can
    you at least tell me which way she
    traveled when she left the castle?"
    The maidservant didn't look back up but
    kept her eyes on the floor."West, my Lady."
    Lady Diana followed the maidservant
    down to dinner, where a strange spectacle
    presented itself. The dining hall was
    clear except for Lord Maxwell--wearing
    rags and a dog's collar, heavy manacles
    bound his wrists. Lady Diana tried to
    keep from laughing at the rather ridiculous
    bid for attention.
    '"My lady," Lord Maxwell cried, prostrating
    himself before her. He looked up at
    her hungrily. "The meal is undone...
    for that I must be punished." he hung his head
    low. "I don't deserve such a beautiful woman
    to grace my presence."
    Diana calmly shook her head.
    "Get up! I don't have time for this!"
    She gripped Lord Maxwell's hair and pulled
    him to his feet. "Is anyone normal in this land?"
    He stared at her in ecstacy and she
    sighed. "Lord Maxwell, I'm not that
    hungry. I think I can find your Princess,
    but I have to go now." She struggled to keep
    the amusement from her voice.
    "But...my mistress! I am your slave to do with what you will!"
    She backed away, holding her hands up to
    fend him off. "I REALLY have to go, and
    one day I may have to beat you...but not
    now. Okay? I can only think of getting
    your Princess back."
    He hung his head. "Be careful. Evil is out
    there. I shall have my guards accompany you."
    "No! No...that's not necessary. Really"
    she told him as she continued backing away.
    What ever she faced out there was probably
    less crazy then it was in here.
    Lord Maxwell's eyes followed her in adoration.
    Lady Diana slowly walked out of the dining room.
    She couldn't wait to face the cool, rational night.
    Just then, horrible wails came from outside the
    castle walls. Lady Diana took a deep breath,
    pulled herself straight as one of her arrows
    and walked out to the stable. Her only job was
    to find the Princess and nothing was going to stop her .
    End of part one-next week part two will come out.The characters belong to their creater
    But the story belongs to me.....Diana Garcia

Part two-Fractured fairytale -Beauty and the Beast. Lady Diana was grateful to leave the confines of the castle,for as the Drawbridge closed behind her,fresh clean air greeted her..along with The ever-increasing sounds of a wounded animal in the distance.Her Horse became more and more skittish as she drew closer to the sound By the time she reached the edge of the forest,the animal's cries were Deafening,and the horse was getting difficult to control.the rest of the forest was silent;not even a bird chirped. Lady Diana knew that if she came across the pitiful animal,she had two Choices-either to mend the poor thing or to shoot it with one of her Arrows,ending its painful existence. The animal's cries had diminished To moans.Lady Diana continued toward the sound,until suddenly a loud, Piercing scream tore through the forest,sending her horse into a Panic-almost throwing her to the ground. Since Lady Diana was a skilled rider, she was able to bring the horse Under control."Easy...easy." she cooed to the mare.Sliding off her Nervous mount,Lady Diana gently rubbed the horse's nose,and removed her bridle to set her free.She knew that the poor animal was terrified,but it irked her to lose this mare-she was the best she'd ever had.Diana released her,watching as the horse snorted, lifted her tail and bolted back the way they'd come.Now on foot,her bow and knife at her side,she continued her quest. The forest thinned to a clearing and in the center of this clearing was a powerful figure-man or animal,she wasn't certain-lying on the ground. Diana's keen mind clicked as she examined the sight before her.The man/animal seemed to sense her approach and lift his head.The hair was a matted golden mane..but it was the face that astounded her-a cross between lion and man,with the most incredible blue eyes she'd ever seen. Through she recognized the power and possibility of danger in approaching the creature,there was no fear in her,for she could see kindness ,nobility and pain etched into the face..she knew who it must be, and that he wouldn't harm her. As she approached,she noted that the tattered,torn clothing was at one time quite splendid."Prince Vincent?" Lady Diana asked gently as she cautiously approached. Prince Vincent slowly turned towards the lovely voice that called to him.Out of his pain and fever he saw a wood nymph-beautiful, long red hair flowing freely,tall,proud, and blue eyed..a mark of the sky itself blazed on her forehead.Prince Vincent tried to stand,and watched with amazement as the lovely vision floated towards him.Only in his father's stories had he heard of the beautiful creatures that haunted these woods.He could feel darkness overcoming him as his vision touched him. Lady Diana was amazed at the size of the man as Prince Vincent dropped his feveredhead to her shoulder.She tried to support him,but he was simply too heavy,and his massive frame sent them both to the ground.Prince Vincent fell on top of Lady Diana..her long,lithe legs wrapped around him.Her thoughts turned towards her ancient mother,who wanted her only daughter married and happy.Diana gasped in a fit of humor, ''Mom,you got your wish-I'm gonna die with a man between my legs''She knew she was going to suffocate,he was so heavy.."Umph.."She began to wriggle beneath Prince Vincent as she tried to free herself.She grasped his lolling head between her hands and shook him. "Vincent!Prince Vincent!"Slowly,his blue eyes opened."You can..ugh.get off of me any time now."she gasped. Prince Vincent managed to lift himself to where he was stradding her.His eyes showed a spark of intelligence. Grabbing both of her small wrists in his massive hand,he drew them over her head. "You're a wood nymph! Grant me one thing and I shall let you go back into your forest." His words were still slurred and a bit weak.Diana stared up at him,her mind whirling.She knew he was delirious with fever,and with his strengh,she couldn't very well fight him off.With a smile,she let her body go limp beneath him. "You got me,Prince Vincent.What is your wish?" Perplexed,Prince Vincent asked,"You know me, wood nymph? Of course you do." Diana could see the faraway look in the Prince's eye as he gently eased his hand away from her, releasing her hands.But he still remained straddling her.With her hands free,Lady Diana searched the ground beside her,and finding a palm-sized rock,she gripped it. She hesitated a long moment..she really didn't want to hurt the Prince,but he wouldn't get off her! Staring down into her beautiful face,he told her fiercely,"I shall never let you go until my wish is granted.I want the beautiful Lady Catherine back." Diana stiffened at his words"Where is she?" she asked. "They have destoryed her-my life." He peered painfully down at his captured wood nymph and passed out,falling sideways onto her. "Oh,just great."Lady Diana moaned. Lady Diana struggled once more to free herself of Prince Vincent's crushing weight.Finally, she wriggled her way out from under him,and turning herself over,she pushed herself off the ground.Arrows from her quiver had pinched into her back,she tossed them to the ground. Going over to Prince Vincent,she pushed and pulled until he rolled over. His clawed hand grasped at Lady Diana,gripping her arm tightly."I can't let you go free."he moaned. Diana pulled and pulled at her arm,trying to free herself from his grasp.When she couldn't,she looked around for a rock she'd dropped earlier..found it and picked it up.Gazing tenderly at Prince Vincent she said sadly."This is more for your benefit than mine." She hauled off and knocked Prince Vincent upside his head with her rock..again. Prince Vincent groaned once and managed to say."You hit me." Then he passed out.As he released her,Diana leaped to her feet and whistled for her horse.As she waited for her horse to respond,she took Prince Vincent's tattered cloak from around his neck,and taking off his cowl,she pushed it away from his neck.Grabbing an arrow Diana stuck it though the cowl at its neckline. Now the Prince was lying on his cloak, and the arrow provided a brace to tie her rope to. Diana's horse whinned as she approached. Diana was sweating with exertion by the time she caught the horse and took the rope from her saddle horn.Her blue face paint was running in her eyes,and she wiped it away. "Damn!" She tied one end of the rope to the arrow snagged in Prince Vincent's cloak,then wrapped more around the cowling just to be sure, then tied the other end to her saddle. She then eased the horse forward, dragging the unconscious Prince Vincent behind. Lady Diana remembered passing a small, burned down hamlet a couple of miles back and towards the east.Evening was descending and gold,red and blue light filtered through the beautiful crisp foliage of the trees.the blanket of night had just fallen by the time she dragged the Prince into the small burned down hamlet.Only fragments of huts stood where once a proud,thriving hamlet once stood.Diana walked her horse over to one of the less destroyed buildings and stopping out front,untied the rope and set her horse free with a slap to its rump.The horse galloped off in search of food and water. Lady Diana,sore and tired,stumbled back towards Prince Vincent.Dropping down on her knees,she untied Vincents cowl,which was now almost over his mane.Lady Diana tugged and pulled with all her strength trying to get the cloak off of Prince Vincent.She rolled him over and over till she got the cloak off him at last.==Now to wake him up enough to get him into the hut!=she thought. Pulling a small flask of water from her belt,she knelt beside the fallen prince. for the first time,she took the time to study him.She delicately stroked his golden mane away stared the first time intently into his face.=He's actually quite beautiful in his own way,=she thought.Lady Diana gently ran her finger across his lips and down the sides of his cheek.For the first time in her life,she dared to care.He looked like a fairytale dream and at times,she found herself afraid that if she closed her eyes he would disappear back into her imagination. Prince Vincent started to awake and Diana pushed herself away from him.How odd it felt for her to shy away from anything..let alone a man.His eyes opened,wavered a moment,then focused."Wood nymph," he said,pointing to her. "No,"she said quietly."I'm Lady Diana, from the Northern provinces.I'm here to find your Princess Catherine." Diana swallowed her feeling for this man/beast.She had read his words of love to his Princess.It didn't matter that he was more man than anyone she'd ever met in her life..he wasn't her man.She edged towards him hestantly lifted his head and placed it onto her lap.Tenderly Diana lifted up the water flask for Prince Vincent to drink.After a mouthful,Prince Vincent looked up into her eyes.. "Thank you,my lady."he said with a bit more coherence."My poor,beautiful Princess Catherine's..." tears rolled down his face. Diana didn't feel like really listening to all this self centered whinning.The stupid bitch wasn't worth it.She pushed his head off her,and his head hit the ground. "Ouch...!" Diana grabbed Prince Vincent's muscular arm and tried to help him up.=Like most men=she mused.=I end up doing most of the work.=With a little help from the half-conscious prince .Lady Diana managed to get him into the interior of the small hut. Bracing him with her right leg,she eased him gradually down onto the warm earth of the hut's floor.A quick scan of the surroundings told her that only a small,ugly table and crooked chair had survived the bittered fighting that had taken place only a month earlier while the hamlet had been under attack by the Black Knight.Although bitterly tired,Lady Diana urged her body into motion.The first thing was a warm fire..something to keep the Prince warm and alive.The first was no problem. Diana made a small circle on the flooring with rocks and then small twigs but it did take her a bit longer to get the fire going,as she had to go outside to gather wood. By the time the fire was going,Prince Vincent was sleeping..and making a soft,contented purring sound=Well,= she mused.=At least someone is going to sleep tonight=Settling herself beside him.Lady Diana watched over him ...guarding him. The Prince slept peacefully..seemingly without dreams,and she wondered if he'd slept at all since losing his princess.However,the more "contented" the prince seemed to become,the louder his snoring became.Lady Diana was having trouble hearing the outside noises.=This won't do,=she thought with irritation.She moved to the threshold of the hut so she could watch for any approach,and yet still tend her sleeping patient. When Prince Vincent woke,his fever had broken-but a dream remained behind of a beautiful wood nymph who saved him by knocking him unconscious.As he took in his surroundings,realization dawned on him as he stotted the beautiful wood nymph from his dream. Prince Vincent closed his eyes and gently touched the side of his head where she'd struck him.=No dream=he thought.=That HURTS= He turned his gaze again toward the front of the hut-only to find the wood nymph gone. Prince Vincent sat up slowly.His head was still swimming.As his eyes focused ,the wood nymph reappeared.Their eyes met and locked.Her cool gaze seemed to pierce though his very soul. After a moment of silence,she walked over,thrust a small handful of berries into his hands,and said."Here." Then she sat, crosslegged,before him. Prince Vincent watched her through half-closed eyes as he ate the berries. She didn't speak,but watched every movement he made.Finally Prince Vincent realized she was waiting for him to speak. Bracing himself agains't the pain from his head,he asked,"So you are the Lady Diana from the Northern provinces and you're here to find my love,the beautiful Princess Catherine?" "Yes," she answered solemnly. Prince Vincent found himself speaking freely to this enchanting creature before him.He'd never felt such a easy kinship to anyone before.She showed no fear of him and the look in her eyes was one of intelligence and a strange,exciting power that tingled through him whenever he made contact with those incredible eyes. Lady Diana listened for hours upon hours and was about ready to hang herself from the nearest tree.She felt as if her smile was becoming very stiff.=Ye gods but I'm tired of the Beautiful,Adorable,Magnificent Princess Catherine.=But, he seemed to be on a roll,so she let him talk .At last he spoke about the Beautiful Princess being turned into a crystal statue and somehow along the way getting broken,and some of her parts missing..and he broke down crying. =Oh,well=Lady Diana thought with relief. =so she croaked.The greatest tragedy of the century.=She shrugged as she patted Prince Vincent's shoulder and gave him a small smile.Immediately,Prince Vincent grabbed Lady Diana into a huge bear hug and cried all over her shoulder. Prince Vincent was overcome with emotion as he held tightly to his little woodland nymph. =How strong,soft and warm she is,=he thought. Lady Diana wasn't quite sure how to react.This was something of a frist for her,the first time someone had grabbed her and held on for dear life.It would've been really nice,but she knew all those tears were for the dead princess,and they sickened her a bit.=Such emotion over a used princess!= Eventually,the prince released the Lady Diana.She patted him gently on his back and handed him a tissue to blow his nose.She wanted to help him get over the Princess Catherine ,but her heart told her that she should move on-there would be nothing but pain if she stayed to be with him.Her job was over-she'd found out what happened with the vain,foolish Princess.Slowly, regretfully,she walked outside the hut and whistled for her horse.She could sense Prince Vincent behind her..his soul invading the corners of her mind..a vast feeling of love and warmth. She wondered briefly if he could feel hers as she could feel him.But the thought was only wishful thinking.She had nursed him to health and let him cry out all the pain he carried over Catherine's breakage.His need for her was over,just as her job was.Slowly,she mounted her horse as Prince Vincent emerged from the hut. "You have to leave my Lady?" he asked "I cannot thank you enough for bringing me back from the abyss."His eyes were sad..this time at the thought of her leaving. Before she could change her mind, Diana spurred her horse on.She'd had a job to do and now it was finished,the only thing left to do was to report to the odd Lord Maxwell. While Diana was nursing Prince Vincent, the Black knight Gabriel called a meeting for his second-a dark overseer of the damned.This man had the face of a vulture and the small cold eyes of a rodent.There was an aura of evil around him."You called me ,my Lord and Master?"he asked as he bowed slightly. "I have a job for you."Lord Gabriel told him."The Lady Diana searches for the Princess Catherine.I have been told she has arrived and is most likely in the company of Prince Vincent.To secure the child for myself,I must have them both killed." "Your wish is my command." The overseer responded in a low,ugly voice as he turned to go. "Not so fast,fool!" Gabriel growled. "I do not wish to find you flat on your back like the last time you two met."Gabriel pointed his long bone-like finger towards his second's face."I want you to find the Lady Diana and bring her back to me ALIVE." "my Lord,she is only a woman-easliy killed.Last time was simply bad luck."he protested. "Lady Diana is a very intelligent woman-that's what makes her so dangerous.Now,go and bring her back.I have use of her..but after her deed is done..then and only then can you kill her,not before. ""urning back to his raging fire,Gabriel warmed his hands. The overseer stuck out his tongue at Lord Gabriel's back and grumbled under his breath as he left the room. As Prince Vincent found his way home,the good citizens of his realm were notified of his approach and each ran in different directions trying to locate their old cottonballs to stuff in their ears-just encase he decided to howl again.The Prince found himself surrounded by the citizens of his realm, who were all intently watching his mouth so they could read his lips.Eventually,they realized he wasn't going to start howling again,so they pulled the cottonballs out and cheered their Prince.Prince Vincent made his way to his good father's throneroom. The Good King Jacob looked up from his throne and hesitied for a moment, readying himself for Price Vincent's outbursts.When none came,he relaxed the death grip he had on the arms of his throne."Son! You've came back to us.Are you....better?"he asked gently, trying not to upset his son. "Yes,father,I am.I have met a woman from the North." The Good King was dismayed."A.. .a woman?"+Oh,gods..not another one!=he thought. "Yes." Prince Vincent continued without noticing his father's comment. "She's is intelligent and resourceful. She was sent to find my Princess Catherine...but alas,there's nothing she can do to save her now.However, there's something very special about this woman.She has saved my life." For the first time,King Jacob saw a sparkle in his son's eye and he knew that the worst was over. Mouse stood quietly by the King's chair until the king motioned for Mouse to come closer to him.With vast relief,he whispered to the boy."Tell our good people that their Prince is back..and they can toss away their cottonballs and retrieve their families from the high country." Meanwhile,back at the castle,Lady Diana was meeting with Lord Maxwell in the company of two guards.She was relieved to see the two guards,as Lord Maxwell almost seemed sane when others were around.Lord Maxwell seemed more or less to be sane at the moment.He greeted her with a bow as he thought of how he was going to tell the King of his daughter's demise."Lady Diana," he told her,"since you are known throughout many lands as an honorable huntress,I know that you tell the truth.I know that your duty to me is conclued,but since this development.I would appreciate it if you would find the assassins of Princess Catherine and whatever parts are missing so that she can be properly buried-or at least glued back together for a garden statue.She would have loved that."he said, and at that thought,he wept. Lady Diana looked Lord Maxwell straight in his eyes."I will do as you ask,Lord Maxwell..but with two provisions.The first is that I have my own place outside the castle walls.And second,when I have news I will come to you.You are not to come to me.If you agree to my terms,I will in time fulfill your request." Lord Maxwell nodded his head in agreement to her terms.Lady Diana turned and walked out without waiting to be dismissed.Her mind was on finding a small hamlet to take up residence in.She stopped by the king's stable and retrieved her horse,glad that she hadn't lost her permanently due to Prince Vincent's howling.She would've been hard to replace. Lady Diana spent almost the whole day on horseback,riding from one tiny hamlet to another.Still she found herself drawn to the burned out hamlet where she nursed PrinceVincent,but she still had one more hamlet to check out..the one where the fake black knight accosted her.As she rode into the hamlet,she was greeted by an old hag with snaggly teeth.Lady Diana slid off her horse. "Ha."the old hag croaked."The lady who bested the black knight!We welcome you to our home."the old hag shook her bony fingue at her."I only wish that I'd known you would best him-I would have made a lot of money on you ,young lady." Lady Diana smiled,amused by the hag."So,old mother..is there any lodging around here?"She tossed the old hag a coin from her pocket. "Well lets see."the old hag muttered as she peered toward the huts.She pointed at one."That one-he died last week of terminal iron poisoning.Someone ran him though with a sword.Caused quite a mess in there." Diana glanced at the flies which still blanketed the hut."Er..no I'll think I'll pass on that one." As the old hag moved,Lady Diana caught a glimpse of a single pearl aoround her neck.There was no way this simple peasant could own a ring let alone a fine pearl.That only meant one thing-that she must have run into Princess Catherine.And knowing Princess Catherine from her reputation.Lady Diana doubted she'd give the old hag the time of day...let alone one of her pearls! She narrowed her eyes, considering. Tact might be best here.Her job was now finding the killer or killers...not the less fortunate members of the kingdom who may have taken advantage of the Princess at some time.Or not.Maybe later she'd question the old woman on how she came into possession of such a fine pearl. The old hag touched Diana's forearm to get her attention."How about that one over younder?" "Anyone die of iron poisoning in there?"Lady Diana asked "Nope.Bashed over the head with a club.It's a bit cleaner."She whistled though aged gums and grinned a gummy smile. Just then,the back of Lady Diana's neck tingled.Grabbing the old hag, she told her "Listen,I want you to warn of the others and stay in your huts.Something evil comes." The old hag gasped as she stared up at Diana,noting the smeared blue line."Ah!A Northern seer!"Immediately ,she ran towards the rest of the huts,yelling as she went."Get into your huts!Danger!" Skinny,half starved peasants ran this way and that.None dared to stop to question the old hag.Lady Diana grabbed her bow and arrows and planting herself in the middle of the hamlet she waited. 
    
    Fairytale 3
    Lady Diana didn't have long to wait before danger made itself
    Apparent.The sound and vibrations from about a dozen horses filled the
    Thick air around her.The possibility of her destorying or evading such
    A force seemed highly unlikely.One or two she could have handled-but
    So many,never.Lady Diana held tightly to her bow and surveyed the area
    surrounding the small hamlet.Her eyes fell on a poorly made structure
    That the peasants used to cover a part of their marketplace..it stood,
    Shaking,on only four thin poles,its thatch roof dropping pieces as it
    Trembled.Diana smiled.
    The horsemen,all wearing the black colors of Lord Gabriel,came into view.
    Their leader was the same man she'd bested before.=Oh I'm gonna enjoy
    This!=she thought.Her smile became a grin.If the plan worked,the
    Knights would be too busy with her to hurt or even think about any of the
    Peasants.As Lady Diana watched,their leader approached her on his
    Prancing stallion,only to stop abruptly a few feet away.He unsheathed
    His sword.
    "Lady,drop you bow.My master wants a meeting with you!"
    "I know you," the Lady Diana responded."At first,I didn't recognize you.
    The last time I saw you,you were on your back."
    The burly knight flushed.
    "And why would I want to see your master?I have no business with him."
    The leader motioned for his guards to follow him and started forward.
    In a dead run,the Lady Diana ducked under the shakily-thatched roof,and
    She was followed by seven of the twelve knights.
    As the knights made it under the thatched roof,Diana hit the side pole
    As hard as she could forcing the brace and roof down onto the knights
    Knocking them off their horses.Slinging her bow in back of her.Diana
    placed her hands in back of her hips and looked back."Oooops.." she
    Commented smugly.Some of the knights were fighting to get up while
    others were having problems keeping their terrified horses under control.
    Lady Diana slowly walked into the forest,and behind her she heard
    the cheers of the peasants as they came out of their hiding places.
    She turned.=stupid peasants!They should've stayed hidden!"
    She could hear the old woman giggling and telling another
    peasant."I told yoy!Now you owe me!Let's settle these bets."
    An argument started and what Diana feared the most became
    reality;one of the knights swooped down on the peasants,picking up
    the old woman as the other peasants scrambled away.
    "Don't breath on me old woman!"the knight said."Your breath could
    melt my armor!"He shook the old woman like a rag doll,then she went
    limp.the knight's voice rang out:"I know that you're still here.
    Lady Diana! Give yourself up to me and I promise that this hamlet
    will be spared.Our Lord,the Black Knight.Gabriel only wants to talk
    with you."
    "Damn."Diana had no chioce ,and she came out of the forest."You win,
    for now."she told him."But let them go.I will go see your High Lord.
    "Diana only stopped once,glancing at the still struggling knights on
    the ground beneath the thatch.She spotted the same knight she'd bested
    before,and looked down at him."You just can't seem to keep on your
    feet,can you?"
    The peasants watched in silence as the Lady Diana grabbed one of
    the downed knights
    's horses and gracefully jumped on.She watched as the other knights
    rope their fallen champions and started to drag them back into the
    woods with Lady Diana beside the new head knight.
    The old woman pulled herself off the ground and looked around.She
    spit on the ground and wiped her mouth with her hand.The smell
    from her mouth made her eyes pop and water as the other peasants
    crowded around her."I want my money,you toothless old hag!" yelled
    a weathered,loose skinned man.
    "She bested them!" the old hag protested."I don't own you a thing,
    you rat faced fart."others were crowding around and she yelled.
    "She beat them-the redheaded wildcat-she only went with them
    willingly!They don't beat her!"
    "If she went with them,they won!"
    The clearing erupted into a melee of clubs,fists,spit and hair
    pulling.Only the old hags voice could be made out over the fray.
    "Don't touch me pearl!"
    And shortly after that a man's voice..."Gods woman!Shut your
    mouth,your breath smells like a buzzard died in there!"
    It didn't seem that long until Diana and her escorts made
    it back to the Black Knight Gabriel's castle.Half the knights
    were being dragged by the others...a sad sight.A small,
    misshapen hunchback came out to greet them.He looked with awe
    at Lady Diana,who sat straight and tall on Sir Winsome's
    horse,her red hair floating on the breeze.The small hunchback
    pranced around the fallen knights,pointing at the fallen
    Sir Winsome,he chuckled."I see you got some dents in your
    armor.Gabriel's gonna make you pay to get these dents hammered
    out.Maybe he'll hammer you inside."
    Sir Winsome mumbled something and took a heavy swing at
    the hunchback,but was way to slow,and the hunchback
    easily danced away.=Gods,how I like this beautiful
    redheaded amazon.=he thought.
    The lead knight motioned to his men to drop their ropes,leaving
    the fallen knights on the ground,while the hunchback-after
    years of abuse danced around the fallen knights singing loudly.
    Lady Diana walked in silence,but the two knights besides her
    weren't silent at all.The largest of the knights started to
    belly laugh. "I' don't know which was funnier.That old hag
    trying to get into your armor or the look on Sir Winsome
    falling off his horse again..or maybe us telling Lord Gabriel
    that Sir Winsome was back on the ground." The knight turned to
    Lady Diana. "Your one fine wildcat.If there's anything left
    of you after Lord Gabriel gets through,it's mine."
    Diana stopped abruptly."You couldn't handle even a part
    of me,little boy."
    The knight only smiled under his helmet."At least I'd
    die happy,my little firebreather."
    He grabbed Diana's elbow and pushed her into Gabreil's chamber
    ,where the fire blazed brightly.Gabriel's skull-like
    features cracked into a sinister smile."Sir
    Weatherby,where is Sir Winsome?"
    The smaller knight smiled faintly."He's outside.He's
    on his back again."
    Gabriel only nodded to Diana."Your doing?"
    "My pleasure," she said flatly."What do you need from me?"
    "I could just kill you,but your right.So beautiful,and with
    brains too.I warned=Sir Winsome that you were dangerous.
    How many of my knights have you upset?"
    "A few."
    Gabriel motioned to the knights behind her.Diana
    could hear their retreating steps.
    "My dear,"Gabriel said."I just wanted to speak to you,
    since you are so well known here.I want you to find
    Prince Vincent and give him this message.I will trade
    him for his and Princess Catherine's son."
    Diana kept her emotions in check."How do I know that you
    have his son?And why would you trade?"
    Gabreil placed a long,bony finger under Ladys Diana chin.
    "Just tell him.Ha !The look in your eyes!You don't believe
    me."he turned his head towards the door and as if on cue,
    the small hunchback entered holding a child.
    Diana pretended disinterest."It could be anyone's child.
    How could I tell?"
    "Yes ,indeed.Beautiful and smart."Gabreil motioned the
    hunchback towards them.As the hunchback approached,he
    uncovered the child's hand exposing claw-like nails.
    Diana breifly checked the child over.It had to be Prince
    Vincent's.Lady Diana's jaw tightened slightly."I'll tell him."
    Lady Diana couldn't wait to take her leave of Gabriel and
    deliver his little news flash.She couldn't understand why
    she was so angry.But all men are pigs-even the one she
    cared for!A baby! Why that two timing good for nothing
    man/beast!Diana kept her temper in check.Out of all that
    talking he'd done,Prince Vincent went on and on about the
    Princess Catherine,but he never mentioned a baby.
    As she stomped out of the castle,she was amazed to see
    Sir Winsome was still flat on his back on the ground,
    with a tablecloth draped over him.and the ugly hunchback
    sitting beside him eatting a fine meal of fruits and
    berries.Upon seeing Lady Diana the hunchback smiled.
    "His Lordship,the wonderful High Lord said I could
    have a picnic out here..since there was such a convenient
    table available! "Would you care to join me,beautiful nymph?"
    Diana studied the odd sitution and smiled."Do you have
    a brother,hunchback?"
    He grinned."Several,and we all love tall women."
    Diana tossed her head back and laughed at the irony.
    "Well,I should get something out of this.Pass me
    some apples,hunchback and I'll be on my way."
    The small hunchback tossed Lady Diana the most beautiful
    apple he could find,Diana smiled down at Sir Winsome.He
    really did have an ugly,hawk-like face."Thank you,Sir
    Winsome...Please...don't get up!I can leave on my own.
    "Lady Diana whistled loudly,for she knew her mare would
    be nearby..probably jealous that she ridden Sir Winsome's
    gelding over here.Diana smiled as her horse appeared from
    the forest and came right up to her.Diana gracefully
    leaped atop her ,mare and smiled down at the hunchback.
    She wished him well,but not his master-and she was off.
    Lady Diana didn't really know where to find Vincent or even
    if she'd ever see him again.But she had given her word,
    even if it was to a nasty,egotistical jeck.But her word
    was her bond and the sooner she could rid herself of
    Prince Vincent,the better.Lady Diana only had one clue
    as to his possible where abouts..the old hag with the
    Princess's pearl.It didn't take her long to make it back
    to the hamlet,but what she saw shocked her.Bruised and
    beaten peasants littered almost every path.Diana then
    saw the old hag and as the old hag saw Diana,she jumped
    up and down with joy while others only groaned.
    "WON,WON,I WON!" the hag screamed.
    Lady Diana slid off of her saddle as soon as she got within
    inches of the old woman."Old woman,I want to find
    Prince Vincent.Can you help me?"
    The old hag puckered up her lips."Let me think-you do know
    that Prince Vincent doesn't have a good reputation with
    women?The last one sorta fell apart on him."
    "So I've heard" Diana said dryly gripping the old woman's
    pearl.She stared into the woman's eyes and obviously the
    hag knew she meant business.
    "Well then."the hag muttered."If you're gonna be like
    that!I'll show you where he lives.His castle is beneath
    the ground.It's right over there."The old hag pointed a
    shaking finger towards the east.
    "Thank you." Diana jumped back onto her horse."I owe you one."
    The hag peered up at Diana and took several coins out of
    her pocket.She grinned,showing one blackened tooth .
    "Just keep beating those black knights and we're even."
    As Diana made her way to Prince Vincent,her heart grew
    heavy with the knowleadge that it wasn't him she was mad
    at.He owned he nothing at all..it was just that she'd
    let her guard down.=Dreams are for fools.They don't come
    true.she thought sadly.She was a realist.He had merely
    upset the delicate balance between dreamer and realist
    within her.She made up her mind;she'd deliver Gabriel's
    message and a warning.but she wouldn't try to involve
    her life with his.It would only lead to pain and
    heartache.She came to a pleasant clearing and the month
    of a cave opening.When Diana examined the ground carefully
    ,she could see several errant pearls hidden away in the
    slipped off her mare and walked over to the cave's
    mouth.where she noticed a movement.Standing outside
    she yelled."I'm the;Lady Diana.I have an important message
    to give to Prince Vincent!"
    Only silence answered her.Frustrated she kicked at one of
    the pearls.Then she saw him.She wasn't dreaming..had
    never been.He was real.Tall,strong and golden,his thick
    mane tossing in the breeze and every muscle indicating
    controlled power.But it was his sad blue eyes that melted her heart.
    "How did you find me,Lady Diana?" His voice was soft and
    gentle,stirring those hidden dreams to life.
    "I'm a hunter.It's..what I do."Diana barely managed to say
    "I wanted to thank you.I've never really had anyone but
    father looking out for me,caring for me...so I wanted to
    tell you how much it meant to me."His words were a purr,causing
    Diana to shiver.
    Diana forced herself back to reality."I'm here on business.
    I ran into the High Lord Gabriel."
    Concern filled his face...swept over her. "Diana ,you must be careful."
    "I'm not Catherine." She said..not meaning it to come out
    so bitter "I can take care of myself." Immediately afterward
    Diana wanted to bite her tongue off.
    "I know that.No one can be like Catherine,my wood nymph.
    Nor is there anyone like you.We are all unique."
    "Why does he do that?"Diana wondered=Turn everything around
    to make you feel special,even when you know you're not..not
    to him=Diana lowered her eyes."I was sent to deliver you a
    message.Gabriel will exchange your son..for you."
    "My ..Son?A child?How?" he stuttered,his gaze blank.
    "You know..." she told him sarcastically.Surely he wasn't
    so innocent."The bird and the bees?" she peered up at him shyly.
    Without looking at her,he waved the comment off.
    "No...you mean the bats and the rodents.Father told
    me all about that...but....we didn't..I didn't...I mean..
    ." He looked confused.
    She shrugged "Well whatever."
    Finally,his eyes met hers."You're very special to me,but
    I have to leave.I like you..aa lot..but in a different
    way from how I loved Catherine.But I never kissed her lips
    like that.It must've been the way she petted my fur."
    Diana shook her head and backed away."I gotta leave
    .This is getting too weird,even for me."Just be
    careful,Prince Vincent."
    "Just Vincent,Diana." He said with a toothy grin.
    She grinned back."Yeah,whatever..Vincent Diana.I'd call
    you Rover if you'd come.Add I'd do more than pet your coat.
    .you can be sure of that!"
    Diana couldn't believe what just took place.=Maybe I'm dreaming,
    =she thought.=That has to be it.Nobody could be that innocent.
    =Then,her mind begin to focus on Vincent's powerful,musclar
    arms around her the feel and smell of him.The power of the mare
    underneath her,the power of Vincent's arms around her.
    Surrendering.=NO!= her mind screamed=You can't ever see
    him again!He's dangerous to you!= Diana shook off this
    odd feeling =This weakness is your own fault.And a minutes
    weakness may have destoryed everything.=She promised herself
    to find Catherines pieces and return them and search for her
    killers.She wanted it finished as soon as possible so she
    could return to the Northern provinces ,her life her work.
    Prince Vincent went straight to his chamber.He was concerned=
    What happened out there? He asked himself.He loved Princess
    Catherine with all his heart.She'd touched him in a sweet
    way he'd needed.But Diana had touched something else within
    him.He could live his life knowing that she was fine,and deep
    within he felt that he was bonded with both Catherine and Diana.
    He had been able to feel Catherine's needs..but couldn't Diana's.
    Yet he could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew him on
    a level that tied her to him the same way he had been tied
    with Catherine.Two very different women had touched his
    heart.Up to now,Catherine had claimed all..but Diana was
    making her own place.He knew if he ever needed her she'd
    be there for him,no matter what the cost to her.
    Prince Vincent looked deeply within himself and started
    to write down his feelings for Princess Catherine.She'd
    been gone a year..but they had a child.A child that he
    must save.He wondered sadly if his life was ending,for
    he would have like to have seen where his feelings for
    the wood nymph would taken him.As it was he was drawing
    on Diana's strengh to make it though Catherine's death.But
    he 'd seen the fear in Diana's eyes a few minutes after
    they kissed.He only wished that Catherine would have
    kissed him like that just once.
    Vincent smiled as he set down his words on paper.After he was
    finished Prince Vincent called for mouse,who came scampering
    in."Yes,Prince Vincent?"
    'You know that beautiful Lady-my wood nymph .That you saw
    outside?After,I leave-and if I don't come back,give this
    to her.And her alone,do you understand?
    "What you think Mouse dumb?He bared his rat like teeth at
    Vincent,who shrugged."No my friend,I just want her to know
    something.And tell father that I have to leave."
    Mouse eyed him suspiciously."Catherine again?"
    "In a very important way,my friend."Vincent handed his
    note carefully over towards Mouse,who gingerly took it.
    High Lord Gabriel was not shocked or surprised to hear
    Prince Vincent's voice ringing out below his castle wall.A
    smug smile replaced his customary scowl.Just thinking of
    all the knights he had sent out-who could accomplish nothing
    but finding one little slip of a girl,who managed to best
    them all of them-when all he had to do was invite him with
    a little blackmail.He shrugged=Ah well,one lives and learns
    =he thought.He didn't need to look back to know when the
    hunchback entered."well,you ugly little troll,the beauty
    and brains of a mere slip of a girl has again bested not
    only mere men but the beast as well.Send Prince Vincent
    Up to me,but make sure that he is heavily chained like any
    dangerous animal.
    "Your wish is my command,my Lord."He bowed slightly and
    started to leave.
    "Did I say you could leave?"
    The hunchback trembled slightly."No,my Lord Highest."
    "Get that brother of yours,the ugly one.I need a footstool,
    and bring in my throne."
    "By myself,your High Lordship?It may take a couple of um...days."
    "No ,you idot!Why am I cursed with fools?Get some of those
    worthless knights to help you..and bring my heaviest and
    warmest cloak to me."
    The hunchback bowed again,but hurried toward the freedom of
    the castle's corridors.He only wished that the redheaded
    amazon could put his high Lord on his ass.He wasn't too
    thrilled with the high Lord using his little brother as
    a footstool,even if he did claim he was helping him out
    by pushing his hump in.=It never worked with me.=he thought angrily.
    It didn't take long for the hunchback to convey his High
    Lordship's orders,since knights littered almost every corridor.
    Conclusion of Fable
    Gabriel sat tall and straight in his
    stone throne,his skeletal features sharpened
    by the shadows from the raging fire beside
    him.His feet rested on an ugly hunchback whose
    features showed strain.Knights surrounded
    the chain Prince Vincent as they escorted
    him to the High Lord Prince Vincent looked
    over his immediate surroundings.Then,almost
    casually,toward High Lord Gabriel."I have
    kept my promise and have come to you to secure
    the release of my son."His voice was steadying
    ,strong and fearless.
    Gabriel stood,still resting one of his feet
    on the hunchback."It seems that you have
    no one with you to take care of your son.
    What kind of a man do you take me for,that
    I would endanger a child?" He eyed Prince
    Vincent coldly. "Perhaps if your lady,the
    huntress,were here,I could hand over the
    child to her." He smiled "The child can
    hardly walk home alone."
    Prince Vincent stared back at his enemy.
    "I know not where the lady is,but if you
    leave the child in the village of Dragon's
    Breath,my people shall find him," Vincent
    told Gabriel,not giving an inch to the
    mad man in front of him.
    "Yes,that's where we took your lady from
    the first time.You have good taste.I like
    women with spirit.Did you know that your
    Amazon bested most of my knights?She's a
    clever little wisp."
    At that Prince Vincent raised his brow
    Gabriel laughed and stomped his foot down
    hard,pushing the hunchback underneath him.
    "I have you-a splendid animal-all you need
    to do now so I can release your son is to
    tell where Lady Diana is,so I can get a
    message to her to come for your son.I am
    not an unreasonable man.Besides..don't you
    think that your huntress could take care
    of herself after downing several of my knights?
    At the look of awe on Vincent's face,Gabriel
    laugh."Ha,the little huntress hasn't told you
    Prince Vincent?"
    "I don't know where she is." Vincent said coldly.
    "I want to see my son."
    "And you will-once you're safely behind cell
    bars."Gabriel motioned the knights to take Prince
    Vincent below.Prince Vincent had little choice,
    for if there was only a small hope of getting his
    son,it lay with the Lady Diana..but with him
    locked away,how could he make contact with her
    to tell her of his need?"
    The knights with Prince Vincent were fearful
    as they hustled him down damp dark corridors
    which led into dimly lit halls-each lined
    with cells full of half starved humans and
    deformed creatures of the night. He was shocked
    into pity as he saw one after another lying
    motionless on dirt flooring or shivering in
    the cold air.After what seemed like a eternity,
    they entered a small room, where only one
    empty cell stood .The knight Sir Winsome,
    produced his keys and unlocked the cell,
    motioning Vincent inside.
    Nothing greeted Vincent inside except
    the smell of death and pain .Locking
    the cell ,the knights turned to leave,
    but Sir Winsome stopped short. "Prince
    Vincent," he sneered. "Prince of the
    deformed .I hope for your sake that we
    find that hellcat Diana.I'd hate to see
    your child rot here like the rest .So
    if you do know where she is.I'd tell
    Gabriel."Vincent just stared down and
    touched his heavy chains .Sir Winsome
    smiled and walked away."Well I guess
    I'll have to find her on my own."His
    tone was sinister and the implication ugly.
    Try as she might to keep her promise to
    herself,the farther Lady Diana got from
    Prince Vincent,the colder she felt.She
    couldn't believe what happened just before
    she whistled for her horse.Deep down,she
    knew Gabriel was leading Vincent to his
    destruction.Everytime she closed her
    eyes,Diana recounted their last minutes
    together=Yeah,whatever,Vincent=Diana
    thought=I'd call you Rover if you come,
    all right,and I'd do more than pet your
    coat,you can be sure of that!=Then,
    without even thinking,she walked straight
    up to Prince Bincent,pulled his head down
    and kissed him-not just a kiss,but one
    where she could taste his tonsils=Diana
    flushed and smiled just thinking about
    it.She didn't know who had been more
    shocked-him or her.She could kick herself
    ,wondering if it was worth it.But the
    answer came back to her and she grinned.
    "Damn straight it was!" He'd been so cute
    with his mouth hanging open as she
    jumped on her horse to leave.She'd left
    him wide eyed and drooling."Damn."She
    pulled her mare up short."I guess if
    I want more of that I'd better save him.
    If I never get next time,I'm gonna suck
    his tonsils right out of him for putting me
    though this."Shaking her head,Diana turned
    her horse around and headed back to Prince
    Vincent's domain.
    Before Lady Diana was half way there,a
    huge rat crossed the path in front of
    her,causing her to pull her horse to a
    stop.Grabbing her bow and arrow,she aimed.
    The mouse Mouse stopped and yelled.
    "No! Friend Vincent's.Here's letter
    he wrote you."Gingerly,Mouse approached
    Diana,and shakingly handed her Prince
    Vincent's note.Diana grabbed it from
    Mouse and without looking at it,she
    stuffed it in her pocket."Rat?"
    "No,Me Mouse,not rat."his little
    red beady eyes were on hers.She
    shuddered=God.Vincent has some ugly
    friends=She wasn't too thrilled
    with rats or mice whatever he
    was."Mouse,do you know where Prince Vincent is?"
    "He go do Catherine stuff again.
    "Mouse said with a sigh and a notable disgust.
    Diana's heart was gripped in fear.
    "Gabriel." She could feel her heart
    fluttering in her chest.
    Mouse whose large ears caught even
    a stir on the breeze,said angrily,
    "Gabriel no good! Turn me into mouse
    Me steal ladies chastity belts."
    He nodded sadly.
    Diana peered down at him"Gabriel let
    you into his castle?"her mind whirled
    with possibilities.
    "No." Mouse shook his head."Secret
    way.Want Mouse to show you?If Mouse
    shows you he gets chasty belt?
    "Hell,I'll buy you one after you show
    me the way in,deal?"Diana placed her
    hand down,and Mouse grabbed at her
    hand and pumped it up and down.
    "Deal" he smiled
    Lady Diana wasn't far behind Prince Vincent
    when he started out on his suicide mission.
    Diana shook her head as she rode,thinking
    that he was either the most noble of the
    nobles or the stupidest man she'd ever met.
    Diana and Mouse started canvassing around
    the castle just out of sight of guards and
    knights-pitiful creatures who cried out in
    torment which encompassed her heart,clouded
    her mind."Where is the opening? No opening,
    no chastity belt." She whispered softly to Mouse.
    "Mouse thinks he remembers."Mouse whispered back.
    With each step and minute that passed a
    growing apprehension gripped at her.She
    could perceive no opening,no hidden
    doorway or escape route hidden around,
    but she knew deep within herself that
    there was one.There had to be one.She
    would except nothing less."Mouse,if you
    don't want to end up mouse under ground
    you better find it!We've been looking
    for hours."
    As evening approached,Diana knew that
    Prince Vincent would not return on his
    own."Damn!" she kicked out at the
    ground beneath her feet."I warned him,
    honorable,noble fool."But deep down
    she knew that if he had done anything
    else,she would have lost all respect
    for him.Watching the sun descend,and
    then disappear into the earth,she
    and Mouse continued their search.
    As late evening approached,Diana's
    temper was frazzled and she was
    suppressing the desire to rip Mouse's
    ears right off him.After a couple
    of deep breaths,she smiled slightly
    and asked sweetly as she could
    manage."Mouse,you know,Lord Gabriel
    probably has some more chastity belts
    in there. "Its too bad you can't
    remember where the opening is."
    Mouse edged his long nose closer to
    the small patch of bushes and
    sneezed.A smile of pure delight
    spread across his rat-like features.
    His wickedly long front teeth chattered
    and he jumped up and down gleefully,
    pointing under the bush."Oh,Oh!."
    Diana grabbed the bush at its base
    and yanked as hard as she could.
    The bush gave way,uncovering a small
    dark hole.She eyed Mouse"After you.
    " She muttered and pointed towards
    the opening.Mouse just squealed and
    jumped inside.Diana took a deep
    breath and followed him,though she
    barely fit through the opening.But
    suddenly,like a cock pulled out of
    a bottle.Diana popped through and
    plunged straight down into a under
    ground tunnel,and landed on top of
    Mouse.Standing hastily and glaring
    down at the little rodent,she told
    him."Mouse-touch my chastity belt
    again and I'll rip your arm off!Do I
    make myself clear?"
    Mouse scrambled away from Diana and
    gulped,his voice small and high pitched.
    "Yes,ma'am."
    Diana glanced around the tunnel=Well=she
    thought to herself=your traveling with
    a rat..Whatever...and you end up in a
    rat hole.
    Spiderwebs,damp,mildrew and pitch darkness
    surrounded her.Hands on her hips,she
    surveyed her surroundings.She turned
    back to Mouse,who was scrambling to
    his feet.
    "Isn't this place neat?"he asked cheerfully
    Diana looked around."Yeah,kid.Really
    neat.Now..which tunnel leads us to
    the cell?"She pointed at two branches
    of the tunnel up ahead.Mouse seemed
    quite in his element and started
    hopping towards the right tunnel.
    "This way."he said stopping long
    enough to turn his beady rat eyes
    toward her the darkness.
    Diana could feel her skin crawled
    as she stared into those eyes.
    .light from the tunnel's opening
    made his beady eyes gleam red.
    Shaking her head,she quickly
    followed him.
    Meanwhile.Prince Vincent was down
    in his cell chewing on his claws.
    He could feel his child somewhere
    above him and knew the baby was
    sleeping peacefully.Prince Vincent
    sighed only looking up when a
    menacing presence invaded the
    small room where his cage was
    housed.Lifting his eyes,he saw
    Gabriel with Sir Winsome excourting him.
    The two men slowly approached the
    cage."Are you comfortable,animal?"
    the hatchet-faced Gabriel asked.
    Vincent only stared up at Gabriel
    and quietly addresses him."You
    said I could see my child."
    A nasty smile played across Gabriel's
    lips."So I did,but I lied.And you're
    in no position to do a thing about it.
    Beast.As soon as I get that hot blooded,
    red-headed filly of yours.You'll both
    die of course,but that's after my
    knights and I have a little fun with
    her."He shrugged."I'm surprised she's
    not here already.Perhaps I've
    over-estimated her."
    Vincent growled."She doesn't even
    know I'm here.And from what I
    understand,you and your knights
    have already had a tough time
    with her.Are you so greedy for more?"
    Gabriel smiled slightly and started
    to slowly turned around-only to stop
    and crane his vulture like head back.
    "oh...and I am sorry for Princess
    Catherine-turning her into a statue
    and all.Such a shame.She just seemed
    to go to pieces after that didn't she?"
    Gabriel's evil laugh filled the room.
    Prince Vincent could feel his head
    spinning"You killed her?"
    Gabriel only laughed again."In a
    manner of speaking.By the way.
    .your son-or rather,my son-will
    watch you die slowly along with
    your precious Lady Diana,after
    we have our way with her in front
    of you beast.I will catch her.
    " Gabriel left Vincent alone with
    his thoughts,but after they were
    out of earshot,he grabbed Sir
    Winsome by the throat."You can
    take care of the girl,can't you?"
    "Of course."Sir Winsome choked out.
    "Of course I can.High Lord!"
    Gabriel pushed his bony finger into
    Sir Winsome's chest."If you can't
    handle her,just kill her!She's far
    more of a threat than Prince Vincent!"
    Prince Vincent sat alone in his
    cell,contemplating all the things
    that had happened to him in these
    last days.He covered his face with
    his clawed and furred hands.Images
    danced in his mind of his Princess
    smiling and checking out each gem
    with the skill of a gem dealer..
    .thought of her constant need for
    his aid and the way she'd disappeared
    only to become a crystal statue,and
    then how she was condemned-however
    indirectly-by his maddness to stay
    a statue and finally be broken into
    pieces.Then,to find out he had a son!
    It was such a shock! Then his thoughts
    moved to Diana..and it was odd to him
    that when he thought of Diana it
    wasn't of her needing him but rather
    him needing her.He held little fear
    for her eventual safety...but the thought
    of Gabriel touching her made Prince
    Vincent physically ill.And the thought
    of his son being raised by that creature
    from Hades was insuffable ! He wailed
    in despair.
    Meanwhile,Lady Diana was praying for
    the end to this endless trek though
    the tunnels.Mouse was no help at all.
    He seemed to pause every couple of
    feet and sniffed the air around him.
    Diana wondered what scent he had picked
    up,but he remained quiet.Finally he
    stopped,and eyeing Diana said "I
    think we took a wrong turn."
    Diana murmured under breath."Just great!
    I should have left you top side."
    Shaking his head to and fro,he wrinkled
    his nose and his eyes watered"Dirty Diaper.Yek!"
    It had to be Vincent's son!At first,
    Diana was excited,then the child's
    smelly diaper ordor hit her as it
    drifted through the tunnels.With it
    trapped between the walls,the stench
    was odiferous.Diana gagged' "Okay,"
    she managed through the stink. "If
    we can't find Vincent,at least we know
    where his son is..if nothing else,we
    follow the smell,right .Rat?"
    "Mouse!Not Rat!" Mouse interjected.
    "Whatever.I want you to get Prince
    Vincent's child.I'm going down to
    see if I can get into the cells from
    down here." Diana disappeared into
    the darkness before Mouse could say
    a word.Mouse was about to yell out
    but thought better of it.=Maybe I
    already told her about the traps
    Gabriel has set=he thought hopefully.
    Diana felt her way along the damp
    wall until she came to a rotten
    fence that blocked her way.Diana
    noticed small,well placed cuts
    in the wood.She sat down and kicked
    at the rotten wood until it
    cracked beneath her feet.Suddenly
    a chill swept through her,chilling
    her mind.It was too easy-why the
    well placed cuts? Diana sat up and
    peered between the slats.A gleam
    caught her eye..swords interlaced
    the wood.Diana pulled her arrows
    from her quiver and placed them
    on the ground.Placing her hand in
    the leather quizer,she hit the wooden
    fence..which bent outward,causing
    the sword-laced plank above collapse
    down in front of her-she pulled her
    hand out just in time.Grabbing her
    arrows and putting her bows back
    into the quizer's sling,she edged
    around the wall of swords.
    As she stepped beyond the wall of
    swords,an unearthly silence greeted
    her-then taking a few steps forward,
    she heard moaning,screams and cries
    of pain.Bracing herself for her ordeal,
    Diana forced herself forward.
    Mouse stopped and wrinkled his nose.
    .the smell of a dirty child's diaper
    drew him up the righthand tunnel.He
    felt around the wall as he remembered
    a catch that triggered a door.His
    hand felt a thin rope."That's it!"
    Mouse squeaked as the small opening
    appeared by his knee.He dropped down,
    and sticking his mouse head through
    the opening,he saw a baby,fast asleep
    now in a tiny crib.Mouse leaned in
    to far and -thump-,fell right on his
    face.An elderly midwife with her grey
    hair done up in a untidy bun came
    running to check on the tiny child,only
    to see mouse hanging upside down.
    Screaming hysterically,she grabbed
    a small pillow and started swinging
    it with all her strength at Mouse,who
    was desperately trying to free himself
    and stand up-right.Holding his hands up
    over his head,he yelled"Your hurting
    my!Stop that!" At that the midwife
    threw the pillow down and rolled her
    eyes in terror.
    Pointing and backing up at the sametime,
    she managed to scream."EVIL DEMON!"
    When she reached the corridor outside
    the child's room.she turned and ran
    away,still screaming.Mouse scampered
    over to Vincent's child and grabbed
    him from his crib,causing the small,
    stinky little bundle to wake and
    scream out at the top of his lungs.
    Lucky for our heroes that most of
    the knights were out chasing Diana,
    who by this time was just about
    through the wall in front of Vincent's
    cell.Prince Vincent heard the
    child's wailing cries echoing down
    the thick layers of corridors and
    they pierced his heart.His soul
    cried out for his son.The few knights
    left guarding the cells came rushing
    in as Prince Vincent roared,ripping his
    chain from the wall and his limbs from
    their manacles.His maddness was
    indescribably as he ripped out the
    cell door.Knights scattered in terror
    of the monster before them,and those who
    stood their ground were dispatched with
    a swift and terrible blow from
    Vincent's claws.
    As Vincent tore up the stairs after
    his crying child,Diana heard the
    terrible commotion and hurriedly
    groped around in the dark and found
    the lever to free herself.As the
    door swung open,her eyes and mind
    were shocked at the savage being
    before her.Diana glanced into another
    corridor filled with cells-dirty,
    starving and crazy ,the remnants
    of human beings stared back at her.
    She could hear Vincent's roaring as
    they rolled down the stairs behind
    him.Looking around,Diana grabbed
    a key from the severed arm of a
    daed guard who's fingers still
    held tightly to the cell door keys.
    Diana swiftly ran down the lined
    up cells and tossed the keys to
    one of the newest arrivals,and
    as he freed himself,Diana gripped
    his shirt and told him."Make sure
    to free the others,or I will hunt
    you down."The man nodded and Diana
    took off after a raging Prince Vincent.
    Diana raced up several staircases.The
    carnage left in Vincent's wake
    littered the small landings.She
    followed the screams,roars and
    crying to a small room.Surveying
    the scene around her,she found Mouse
    trembling and holding tightly to
    Vincent's crying child.Prince
    Vincent-completely mad with rage-faced
    Gabriel,who had come to see what
    the commotion was about.Prince
    Vincent held his clawed hand
    dangerously close to the sworded Gabriel.
    Vincent and Gabriel circled each other,
    each taking the measure of their prey.
    Diana watched this strange dance of
    death.She had to stop this maddness
    and bring Lord Gabriel to justice in
    Lord Maxwell's court.As the deadly
    dance before her continued,suddenly
    Vincent stopped and lowered his hand.
    His fierce growls stopped as the baby
    cried.Vincent turned to check on his
    son.Mouse yelped and Diana watched
    horrified,as Vincent turned away from Gabriel
    Diana grabbed an arrow and placed it
    on her bow,then as High Lord Gabriel
    lunged towards Vincent,she let the
    arrow fly.Gabriel grabbed his chest
    as he slowly sank to his knees
    before Prince Vincent.
    The room was silent as Diana dropped
    her bow and approached Vincent,She
    touched his arm lightly and he turned
    to her,his madness spent.
    "Vincent,your son needs you.Mouse will
    show you the way out."Their eyes met
    in silent understanding and sorrow.Diana
    turned to Mouse. "Mouse,showed
    Prince Vincent the way out from the cells."
    Prince Vincent looked sadly at
    Diana just once as he walked over
    and gently took his son from Mouse.
    Diana watched as he held his son for
    the first time-his face was transformed
    by a mystical softness.He lifted his
    eyes to Diana's and murmured. "Thank you."
    As Mouse led Vincent away.Diana walked
    slowly over and knelt beside High Lord
    Gabriel.She checked his pulse to be certain
    that he was dead,then went to the child's
    crib and grabbed some diapers and a
    blanket.Then she followed the stairway
    back down to the cells.By the time she
    reached the opening to leave the
    castle,Vincent and his child were
    there to greet her..but there was
    no sign of Mouse.As if he could
    read her thoughts.Vincent smiled
    and told her "Mouse went back for
    chastity belts.I couldn't stop him.
    He said he'd meet us at home."
    =home?=Diana thought in momentary
    confusion..then decided he was merely
    speaking of himself."Okay"she said.
    "Guess we'd better hurry then.Don't
    want to run into any of Gabriel's knight."
    "Diana,"Vincent said quietly "Thank
    you for what you did for me."
    He gazed down at his son."For us."
    Diana flushed and looked down at
    the diapers and blanket which were
    still clutched in her hand.Then she
    smiled as she handed him a diaper.
    "Well..if you really want to thank me..."
    Lady Diana and Prince Vincent finally
    made their way back to Vincent's
    kingdom.High Lord Gabriel's knights
    were conspicuously absent.Diana knew
    that she would have to face them
    again in the future,but she figured
    she'd worry about that later.They
    stopped so Vincent could change the
    baby's diaper,for neither of them
    could stand the smell any longer.
    Vincent tried to con Diana into
    changing it,but she pleaded the
    need to scout ahead and returned
    just as he finished the job=Good
    timing is critical to a successful
    mission.=she thought with relief.
    As they approached the kingdom down
    below,Diana-who had been watching
    Vincent with his son for some
    time-decided that now that the
    baby didn't smell so bad,he was
    really cute."Can I hold him?" she
    asked the proud father.
    Delighted that she'd asked,because
    he was getting a cramp in his arm
    from carrying him.Vincent handed the
    baby over ....and decided Diana
    looked pretty good holding a kid
    instead of a bow.He told her,
    "When we get Below,we'll give the
    baby to Mary."
    "Who's Mary?"Diana asked a little
    suspiciously.After all.she 'd
    gone to a lot of trouble to rescue
    this brat..didn't want to hand
    him off to just anybody.
    "She raised me along with father.
    I think you'll like her.I'll introduce you."
    As they entered the Kingdom Below,
    they had to run a gauntlet of citizens
    who came to greet their dear prince
    and to check out the new arrivals.
    They found Mary standing outside
    the King's thorneroom."Mary,I want
    to introduce you to the most
    intelligent,beautiful,independent
    lady I know-the Lady Diana."Vincent
    smiled brightly and added.."And my
    son."Diana held the baby out for Mary to see.
    Mary gasped-a look of sheer shock
    passing over her gentle features.
    "Vincent---does your....father....know?"
    Mary's voice seem to fade with every word.
    Prince Vincent shook his head and
    smiled as he shyly took the baby from
    Diana and handed him over to Mary."I'm
    going to tell him now.Mary.Can you
    escort Lady Diana to my chambers and
    then return with my son to my father's
    throneroom?"
    Mary only shook her head as she
    gazed at Lady Diana.Finally, she
    said softly"Please follow me Lady."
    Diana soft touched Vincent's arm
    in a tentative gesture of good
    luck and followed Mary to Vincent's
    chamber.Prince Vincent took a deep
    breath as he entered Good King
    Jacob's thornroom.
    Diana was surprised at Vincent's
    chamber,for it was spare with only
    a bed,table,chair and a bookcase.
    But the bookcase was littered with
    stacks and stacks of books.Diana
    ran her finger over the book's spines
    poetry,plays,romances and historical
    non-fiction.Diana cocked her head
    and smiled.So there was more than
    Just looks there.He was a man with
    intelligence..a rarity indeed.Diana
    slipped her hand into her pocket
    and pulled out the letter from
    Vincent.Unfolding it.Diana walked
    over and sat down in Vincent's
    chair.Smoothing out his letter
    to her,she started to read.
    My beautiful fairy wood nymph Diana
    Song birds sing their sweetest notes
    in my wood nymph's ear.Hopefully
    she's dreaming still and she's
    dreaming that I am there.And when
    you wake her,birds...make sure she
    thinks of me,as my need for her is
    true.Then while she listens to the
    soft winds blow,say it in slow
    music so softly tenderly and
    low.And when I hear her soul's
    song back-my heart it trembes
    so.Moon and stars above shine
    when my wood nymph sleeps and
    still in dreaming lies.Shine
    through the heavens and wooded
    forest for her sake and mine..and
    send your light to kiss her brow
    and say it is from me kissing her
    very gently as she wakes.No
    matter where she wanders near
    or far from me,tell her of my
    secret love.Through mornings
    die and the stars and moonshines
    far less brightly than before my
    lovely wood nymph was near..my
    love shall endure,though it finds
    no tongue to say.I shall always
    need you.
    Your Loving servant
    Vincent
    Diana smiled and flushed.It
    embarrassed her,but charmed her
    as well.
    Meanwhile,Good King Jacob smiled
    from his throne."Son! It's good
    to see you home at last!Are you
    back for good now?"
    Vincent's blue eyes where bright.
    "Father,I have something to tell you."
    King Jacob closed his eyes and
    leaned back heavily into his
    throne."No,please.Just tell me
    no lips or fur rubbing with anyone?"
    Prince Vincent looked embarrassed
    "Only Catherine,Father...and
    of course Lady Diana from the North."
    King Jacob just shook his head
    and cradled it in bhis hands as
    he groaned.Just then Mary burst
    in carrying Vincent's son in
    her arms.The Good King spread
    his fingers and peered at Mary.
    Prine Vincent broke the silence
    by saying proudly."Father,I want
    you to meet my son."
    Good King Jacob almost fell off
    his chair."Mary!"he bellowed."You
    never told me how FAST those girls
    from the Northern provinces are!
    This is the end of my fractured fairytale.
    And supposedly,they all lived happily
    every after,but I tend to doubt that.
    I hope you enjoyed my tale.Thanks
    to Rhonda Collins for editing this .
    Diana Garcia
    


End file.
